Top 10 TV Shows Weekend Edition
Literal violation. Like, literally.
March 1 is National Punch a Person Misusing the Word ‘Literally’ in the Junk Day. Just go to where people congregate, and listen. In about 30 seconds, you will hear some fuckwaffle misuse ‘literally.’ Then, get to junk-punching. You’ll get out some of that built-up aggression, and, you’ll be making a difference.
Friday, March 1
Malibu Country (8:30 pm, ABC) Reba’s brother shows up and decides to help Lillie Mae turn her barbecue sauce into a successful business; June embarrasses Cash at school.
Them wacky big-city folks in Californie don’t know nuthin’ ʼbout no bar bee cue sauce!
Tanked: Unfiltered (9 pm, Animal Planet) Brett and Wayde share their thoughts on the 2,700-gallon shark tank they built for actor/comic Tracy Morgan.
Hopefully their thoughts include throwing Tracy Morgan into the shark tank.
Out There (10:30 pm, IFC) Chris gets an embarrassing new nickname by a school bully and tries desperately to get rid of it.
A friend of mine got a bad tattoo on his bicep of that Led Zeppelin album cover with the Hindenburg crashing. It didn’t come out very well. Everybody said it looked like a half-hearted erection. Thus began the legend of “Ol’ Dick Arm”.
Anderson Cooper 360 Special (10 pm, CNN) A closer look at the Jodi Arias case; the evidence and the contradictions.
Next week, Anderson takes a closer look at the risks of being Mindy McCready’s dog.
Saturday, March 2
Untold Stories of the ER (9 pm, Discovery Fit & Health) A man’s eyeballs pop out.
Hey, it can’t be any more disgusting than that Incredible Dr. Pol show.
Because not every man can be Stedman Graham…
Unfaithful: Stories of Betrayal (10 pm, OWN) A secret leads to a nervous breakdown; the stress of dealing with her husband’s infidelities sends a woman into pre-term labor.
Also known as A Bunch of New and Different Ways that Men Can Fuck Up Your Life.
The Orgasm Diaries (12:30 am, Sundance) An amateur photographer documents his torrid love affair with a taxidermist.
My guess is that Nancy Grace has never been without a statute mile of an orgasm. Ever.
Sunday, March 3
All-Star Celebrity Apprentice (9pm, NBC) For the first time ever, 14 returning celebrity contestants join Donald Trump in New York to take another shot at competing in business challenges to raise money for their favorite charities.
Despite the “For the first time ever…” intro, you could be forgiven for not feeling the novelty…
Girls (9 pm, HBO) Hannah tries to hide her anxiety from her visiting parents; Marnie is surprised by news of Charlie; Adam meets a boisterous woman; Ray’s aversion to college parties gives Shoshanna pause.
…and everybody shows their boobs except Marnie.