Top 10 TV Shows, Monday June 11

Tonight's Top 10 Shows

By NotWithoutMyTV | Monday, June 11, 2012 | 12:01 am | 8 Comments
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Monday, June 11

On this day in 1507, a vicious feud broke out between two Roman families, the Gorgas and the Guidices, possibly over a scandalous woodcut. The feud would last for 3 tumultuous years, and many parties and gatherings would be disrupted by their duels and wig snatching. Finally, the ruling Medici, Lucio “Roller” Medici, rounded up both factions and exiled them to the backwater isle of Sicily. During a sudden storm, the two ships were separated, and the Gorgas never made landfall in Sicily. The two families would not be able to continue their feud until meeting in the New World more than 500 years later.  

The Bachelorette (ABC, 8 pm) A disrespectful comment about Emily’s daughter sparks drama.

This comment would be the much publicized “Ricki is baggage” statement. Have you ever tried to get a single mom into the sack when the child is around? Try that and then tell me kids aren’t baggage.

2012 Stanley Cup Final (NBC, 8 pm) Game 6. From Staples Center in Los Angeles. (If necessary, alternate programming includes “America’s Got Talent,” “American Ninja Warrior” and “Grimm.”)

I see no real difference in entertainment quality between goons on skates smashing each other’s teeth out and anything you’d see on America’s Got Talent, but I suppose hockey fans might disagree.

Hell’s Kitchen (FOX, 8 pm) The men compete against the women in a challenge in which they serve classic American fare to special diners; the winning team takes a day trip.

The “special” diners are supertasters. You might slip burned risotto past Ramsay if he’s hung over, but a supertaster will nail you every time.

 

Emphatically not normal.

Are You Normal, America? (OWN, 9pm) Having a tattoo; sex acts in public.

Normal for whom? Me? Jenna Jameson? Oprah Winfrey? Let’s make sure these statistics are comparing apples to apples, please.

Bunheads (ABC Family, 9pm) Tired with her career as a Las Vegas showgirl, a woman starts life anew by impulsively marrying a man and moving to his sleepy coastal town.

… and she rediscovers the real meaning of Christmas.

Monster-In-Laws (AETV, 10 pm) A woman and her 2-year-old daughter move into her mother’s home following a hurricane, but her husband is not welcome.

Grind up some eszopiclone, sprinkle it on the old hag’s toothbrush, and sneak him in through the window. No biggie.

Gene Simmon’s the Family Jewels (AETV, 10 pm) Shannon believes the family will try to sabotage her interviews with the adoption agency; an angry and missing Sophie refuses to return Shannon’s calls.

She starred in Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death, he’s Gene Simmons. I think the adoption agency was already leaning toward “not on my watch”.

Real Housewives of New York City (THE HOUSE THAT ANDY BUILT, 9 pm) LuAnn and Ramona clear the air; Ramona thinks Aviva has been too chatty; Sonja goes missing at a GLAAD event.

It was the 976th mention of that goddam prosthetic leg that sent Ramona (and me) over the edge.

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (COMEDY CENTRAL, 9:58 pm) Paddy’s Pub: Home of the Original Kitten Mittens.

Mittens made of kittens? Mittens for kittens? A drink called Kitten Mittens?

The Wendy Williams Show (BET, 12 am) Talk show host Bethenny Frankel.

Haven’t seen Jill Zarin’s bitter old ass on any of these shows…

By day, I'm an editor. That means I get a cruel thrill out of identifying the parts of other people's creative projects that suck, and alerting those people to said suckage. Sometimes, I get paid for it. I've been known to lose my appetite after seeing how a Thai menu has folded, spindled, and mutilated the Queen's English. Imagine what TV does to me! I guess that's why I wanted to be a recapper at TVgasm. My friends have heard all of my rants, and they are sick of them. TVgasm is a whole new captive audience! So, let's make a compact, you and I: you agree to read my recaps and take what amusement you can from them, and I agree to put into the print the outrageous observations about the show that you thought, but were too PC to say. Let's share our joyous rage after wasting another perfectly good hour in front of the television.

Oh, and I still believe that Magnum, P.I. was the greatest show on television. Although I have not seen Thomas Magnum fishtail that Ferrari in the opening credits since I was 14. If Magnum, P.I. actually sucked, keep your damn squeal hole shut and don't ruin it for me, OK?

8 Comments

  1. 1
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted June 11, 2012 at 4:28 am

    My eyes! My eyes! Please, NWMTV, make it go awaaaaaaaaay!

    You had me on the history lesson.

  2. 2
    SuburBint
    Posted June 11, 2012 at 8:15 am

    NWMTV — I love you.

  3. 3
    skychickie
    Posted June 11, 2012 at 11:13 am

    OMG! I’m sooooo over that fake leg! I wanna take the “spare” and beat her with it.

  4. 4
    NotWithoutMyTV notwithoutmytv
    Posted June 11, 2012 at 11:26 am

    Each Housewife has a schtick. Aviva has a peg leg. That’s her schtick. They tried to give Dana, from RHOBH, the “These sunglasses? $5,000!” schtick, and it failed miserably, and she was gonzo soon afterward.

    So Aviva’s gotta milk that peg leg for all it’s worth!

    (You know, my cousin had a fake leg. She fell down a chuck hole one day and broke it. Unfortunately, we’d already shot her before we realized that we could have just wittled her a new one. Awkward!)

  5. 5
    mere2142
    Posted June 11, 2012 at 12:33 pm

    I thought Dana’s schtick was the million dollar lollipop holder!

  6. 6
    NotWithoutMyTV notwithoutmytv
    Posted June 11, 2012 at 1:41 pm

    I forgot about that. But still…Meh. That’s just a continuation of the same schtick. I mean, whether Truffle Hunter is “working” in her office or “working” in Florida, she’s still reinforcing her identity. (Although fuck me sideways, is Vicki more 3 dimensional than some of the other Housewives??? She’s 1) neurotic, 2) rocking a victim complex like it’s her job, 3) workaholic, 4) codependent, and 5) (probably) an alkie.

    Ramona from RHOBC has pino grigio. That’s it. If she can’t be shown drinking it or talking about it, she ceases to exist. And that’s sad.

  7. 7
    carol
    Posted June 11, 2012 at 11:38 pm

    Is it Comedy Central’s new thing to have shows that start at not on the hour/half hour? Didn’t TBS try this back in the 90′s by starting their shows on the 05 and 35?

  8. 8
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted June 12, 2012 at 1:17 am

    “Kitten Mittons!”

    Charlie is hilarious! And ridiculous.

    @Nwmtv: I cracked up at your account of dealing with your cousin’s broken leg. Awkward. My only question about Aviva’s high-heeled foot was whether it can accommodate both 2″ and 4″ heels? I mean, isn’t the incline higher depending on the heel length? I need ta know!

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