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Monday, Jan. 16
The Rosie Show (OWN, 7 pm) Rehearsal for Rosie’s Theater Kids.
Has Oprah got a theater charity yet? Then get me one, fool, before she thinks of it!
The Bachelor (ABC, 8 pm) A woman from Ben’s past reveals that she has feelings for him; Ben and Emily climb the Oakland Bay Bridge..
On the most shocking group date ever, Ben and the ladies use a Ouija board to contact Ben’s dad. Blakely asks “Am I the right woman for Ben?” and Courtney surreptitiously pushes the planchette toward “no”.
Betty White’s 90th Birthday: A Tribute to America’s Golden Girl (NBC, 8 pm) A celebration of the actess and comedienne’s birthday and career.
I can’t flick a booger lately without hitting Betty White. The only person more overexposed than Betty White is Jane Lynch.
Hoarders (A&E, 9 pm) A woman is obsessed with collecting and caring for cats to the point that her home is unlivable.
“I used multi-cat formula Fresh Step! What more was I supposed to do?!”
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (Bravo, 9m) New drama and old faces pop up at the launch party for Lisa’s new lounge at Sur, and a disheveled Kim tells Kyle the truth about her new boyfriend Ken.
Ken likes to be called “King Shrek” in bed.
Fashion Police: 2012 Golden Globe Awards (E!, 9 pm) Fashions at the annual Globe Awards are critiqued.
I’ve always wanted to be asked “Who are you wearing?” so I can shout back “Merona, by Target!!”
Being Human (Syfy, 9pm) Aidan deals with vampires; Josh prepares to reenter medical school; Sally’s powers strengthen.
Yeah, her power over my loins!
Hawaii Five-0 (CBS, 10 pm) Danny is forced to play midwife when his ex goes into early labor.
Nothing says “luv” like helping your ex deliver another man’s baby.
Scouted (E!, 10 pm) Alwyn finds that modeling isn’t so easy.
They keep yelling at me to “smize!” and I keep yelling back “I don’t speak French!”
It’s a Brad Brad World (Bravo, 10:15 pm) Brad goes on The Nate Berkus Show and meets with his co-writer about his memoir.
Memoir? Who does this flouncy flamingay think he is? Gore Vidal?
The Wendy Williams Show (BET, 12 am) Financial adviser Suze Orman.
Does anyone else want to see Wendy and Suze don rubber monster suits and battle amidst a scale-built version of Tokyo?