Tonight’s Top 10 TV Shows, Jan. 16

Watercooler

By NotWithoutMyTV | Monday, January 16, 2012 | 12:00 am | 7 Comments
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Posted in: Watercooler

Monday, Jan. 16

The Rosie Show (OWN, 7 pm) Rehearsal for Rosie’s Theater Kids.

Has Oprah got a theater charity yet? Then get me one, fool, before she thinks of it!

What’s it spelling? L, I, M, O, R, I, D,E, O, F, S, H, A, M, E. Oh, no!

The Bachelor (ABC, 8 pm) A woman from Ben’s past reveals that she has feelings for him; Ben and Emily climb the Oakland Bay Bridge..

On the most shocking group date ever, Ben and the ladies use a Ouija board to contact Ben’s dad. Blakely asks “Am I the right woman for Ben?” and Courtney surreptitiously pushes the planchette toward “no”.

Betty White’s 90th Birthday: A Tribute to America’s Golden Girl (NBC, 8 pm) A celebration of the actess and comedienne’s birthday and career.

I can’t flick a booger lately without hitting Betty White. The only person more overexposed than Betty White is Jane Lynch.

Hoarders (A&E, 9 pm) A woman is obsessed with collecting and caring for cats to the point that her home is unlivable.

“I used multi-cat formula Fresh Step! What more was I supposed to do?!”

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (Bravo, 9m) New drama and old faces pop up at the launch party for Lisa’s new lounge at Sur, and a disheveled Kim tells Kyle the truth about her new boyfriend Ken.

Ken likes to be called “King Shrek” in bed.

Fashion Police: 2012 Golden Globe Awards (E!, 9 pm) Fashions at the annual Globe Awards are critiqued.

I’ve always wanted to be asked “Who are you wearing?” so I can shout back “Merona, by Target!!”

Hubba, hubba.

Being Human (Syfy, 9pm) Aidan deals with vampires; Josh prepares to reenter medical school; Sally’s powers strengthen.

Yeah, her power over my loins!

Hawaii Five-0 (CBS, 10 pm) Danny is forced to play midwife when his ex goes into early labor.

Nothing says “luv” like helping your ex deliver another man’s baby.

Scouted (E!, 10 pm) Alwyn finds that modeling isn’t so easy.

They keep yelling at me to “smize!” and I keep yelling back “I don’t speak French!”

It’s a Brad Brad World (Bravo, 10:15 pm) Brad goes on The Nate Berkus Show and meets with his co-writer about his memoir.

Memoir? Who does this flouncy flamingay think he is? Gore Vidal?

The Wendy Williams Show (BET, 12 am) Financial adviser Suze Orman.

Does anyone else want to see Wendy and Suze don rubber monster suits and battle amidst a scale-built version of Tokyo?

By day, I'm an editor. That means I get a cruel thrill out of identifying the parts of other people's creative projects that suck, and alerting those people to said suckage. Sometimes, I get paid for it. I've been known to lose my appetite after seeing how a Thai menu has folded, spindled, and mutilated the Queen's English. Imagine what TV does to me! I guess that's why I wanted to be a recapper at TVgasm. My friends have heard all of my rants, and they are sick of them. TVgasm is a whole new captive audience! So, let's make a compact, you and I: you agree to read my recaps and take what amusement you can from them, and I agree to put into the print the outrageous observations about the show that you thought, but were too PC to say. Let's share our joyous rage after wasting another perfectly good hour in front of the television.

Oh, and I still believe that Magnum, P.I. was the greatest show on television. Although I have not seen Thomas Magnum fishtail that Ferrari in the opening credits since I was 14. If Magnum, P.I. actually sucked, keep your damn squeal hole shut and don't ruin it for me, OK?

7 Comments

  1. 1
    mnkid
    Posted January 16, 2012 at 7:55 am

    Hoarders (A&E, 9 pm) A woman is obsessed with collecting and caring for cats to the point that her home is unlivable.

    “I used multi-cat formula Fresh Step! What more was I supposed to do?!”

    Um, it’s not considered a flooring material, dear.

  2. 2
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted January 16, 2012 at 10:36 am

    So…what you’re saying is tonight is when I break out one of the DVDs I got for Christmas.

  3. 3
    kthxbai
    Posted January 16, 2012 at 11:41 am

    NOoo! @cattyfan! Scroll back up. You missed where it said The Bachelor’s going to have the most shocking group date ever!

  4. 4
    notwithoutmytv
    Posted January 16, 2012 at 11:51 am

    You mean you don’t care what didos that whacky Brad–the git of Rachel Zoe–is up to? Can’t you handle Kim Richard’s truth? Don’t you care about Ben Flajnik’s Journey?

    Gee whiz. There’s no pleasing you! At least on Monday nights.

  5. 5
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted January 16, 2012 at 6:24 pm

    kthxbai…wasn’t that last week? Or is it next week…

    By the way, I gave Alcatraz a shot. It’s trying to hard. No thanks.

  6. 6
    Val
    Posted January 16, 2012 at 9:32 pm

    Brad wants to be the next Tim Gunn! Keep trying!

  7. 7
    notwithoutmytv
    Posted January 17, 2012 at 9:14 am

    Re: Tim Gunn. There can be only one. And one day soon, Tim will pick up his ancient katana and slay all these swishy fashion wannabes, and absorb their meager powers.

    Cattyfan, The Most Shocking Group Date EVAR! was this week. Next week I’m told it will be The Most Electrifying, and two weeks from Monday it will be The Most Controversial. Then they throw in Amazing, then they just start over again from “Shocking”. The PAs keep looking up new adjectives, but they’re too difficult for HostDouche to say when he’s half in the bag.

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