Thursday, June 14th
On June 14th, 2000, a mail clerk named Andrew Cohen flounced into the Bravo programming director’s office to deliver a package. Interrupting an impromptu strategy session, Cohen opined that “the peforming arts are dead,” and that “people want the organic drama of reality television!” One closed door meeting and an energetic blow job later, Andy Cohen was a junior programming director and we were one step closer to the TV programming situation we find ourselves in today.
Throwdown with Bobby Flay (Cooking Channel, 6:30 0m) Meatballs.
I first read this as Throw Bobby Flay Down (and my imagination added the Stairs), but I think it was a case of seeing what I wanted to see.
It’s Me or the Dog (Animal Planet, 8 pm) Victoria intervenes when a family’s lack of supervision turns an untrained young dog into an unwanted pet.
Take Me Out (FOX, 8 PM) The women continue their search.
Fox is desperately hoping that it can combine two lesser dating shows to score the same number of eyeballs as the bilious juggernaut that is the Bachelorette.
Oh, shut it. We both know that if I waited for you to take one of us on a helicopter, it would have been Robin, so…
Lab Rats (Disney XD, 8:30 pm) Leo borrows a high speed helicopter to take Janelle on a date.
Does Kody know?
Saving Hope (CBS, 9pm) Alex Reid treats a boy with mysterious symptoms while dealing with the arrival of Charlie’s ex-wife; Joel and Maggie try to help a patient who is refusing treatment because of religious beliefs.
Then Thirteen shows up, alludes to her bisexuality, and leaves.
Don’t Be Tardy for the Wedding (BRAVO, 9 pm) Paparazzi arrive in helicopters; Kim’s mom makes demands; Kim and Kroy begin their married life.
Kim melts down because her personal assistant bought the wrong surface-to-air missiles, and the helicopters drown out the madlib vows she and Troy wrote for each other.
Strange Sex (DISCOVERY FIT & HEALTH, 9:30 pm) A woman learns that defining one’s gender is not so clear-cut.
Male, female, hermaphrodite. It’s not like you’re at Baskin Robbins and are facing choice paralysis.
7 Days of Sex (Lifetime, 10 pm) A former firefighter and his wife attempt to reclaim their sex life; a woman struggles to boost her diminished libido.
Cue the bad “put the heat back in our marriage” joke in 3, 2, 1…
The Pauly D Project (MTV, 10 pm) Biggie proposes in Puerto Rico; Pauly contemplates his future offers while in Rhode Island.
Biggie didn’t plan on buying having to buy an airline seat for each ass cheek, so he is forced to propose with a Ring Pop instead.
Dahling, the casting director said ‘I had a nice set of lungs,’ and I said yes, I was a classically trained singer…
The Bikini Escort Company (SHOWTIME SHOWCASE, 1 am) Beautiful girls form an escort service.
Real Housewives have to get their start somewhere…