Tonight’s Top 10 TV Shows, Thursday, Jan. 5

Watercooler

By NotWithoutMyTV | Thursday, January 5, 2012 | 12:00 am | 2 Comments
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Posted in: Watercooler

Thursday, Jan. 5

What’s spellcheck ever done for me?

Toddlers & Tiaras (TLC, 6 pm) Large prizes draw contestants to the America’s Trezured Dollz pageant in Nashville, Tenn.

Candice? Are you sure you spelled the name of that pageant right?

Project Runway All Stars (Lifetime, 9 pm) Guest judges include famed fashionista Miss Piggy and supermodel Miranda Kerr.

Isaac Mizrahi will ask Miss Piggy what it’s like to @#$! Kermit.

The Secret Circle (CW, 9 pm) Cassie shares a deep secret with Adam; Diana is ecstatic when her grandmother visits, but Charles becomes suspicious when his mother takes an interest in Cassie; Faye asks a mysterious stranger for help with a spell.

This show is dangerous because it makes witchcraft seem so easy. These kids haven’t put in the time, you know?

Futurama (Comedy Central, 9 pm) The series is reimagined in three distinct animation styles.

Matt Groening, this isn’t porn, okay? Don’t try to make it all “arty”.

Private Practice (ABC, 10 pm) Pete and Violet struggle to split time with Lucas; Addison prepares for a new baby; Violet and Jake work with polyamorists.

If you’re pregnant, don’t let Addison Montgomery touch you. She is the prenatal Angel of Death.

The Mentalist (CBS, 10 pm) Lisbon encourages Van Pelt to seek counseling.

His sister would only charge him 5¢.

Nice, but I did a better job on Russell Armstrong.

American Stuffers (Animal Planet, 10 pm) Daniel uses the oven to dry animal parts; his wife erupts.

Actually, the animal parts erupt first. Then his wife does.

Alaska: The Last Frontier (Discovery, 10 pm) Atz Sr. leads a herd of cattle across glacial rivers.

Well, that’s just asking for trouble.

Jersey Shore (MTV, 10 pm) The roommates are excited to be back in New Jersey; Mike threatens to destroy Snooki’s relationship with Jionni.

If Jionni’s waking up next to Snooki didn’t destroy their relationship, Mike sure isn’t going to be able to.

The Tonight Show (Bravo, 11:30 pm) No public figure, whether a movie star or politician, is safe from the brunt of Leno’s barbs.

“The brunt of Leno’s barbs?” Now that’s funny.

By day, I'm an editor. That means I get a cruel thrill out of identifying the parts of other people's creative projects that suck, and alerting those people to said suckage. Sometimes, I get paid for it. I've been known to lose my appetite after seeing how a Thai menu has folded, spindled, and mutilated the Queen's English. Imagine what TV does to me! I guess that's why I wanted to be a recapper at TVgasm. My friends have heard all of my rants, and they are sick of them. TVgasm is a whole new captive audience! So, let's make a compact, you and I: you agree to read my recaps and take what amusement you can from them, and I agree to put into the print the outrageous observations about the show that you thought, but were too PC to say. Let's share our joyous rage after wasting another perfectly good hour in front of the television.

Oh, and I still believe that Magnum, P.I. was the greatest show on television. Although I have not seen Thomas Magnum fishtail that Ferrari in the opening credits since I was 14. If Magnum, P.I. actually sucked, keep your damn squeal hole shut and don't ruin it for me, OK?

2 Comments

  1. 1
    2muchbravo
    Posted January 5, 2012 at 10:49 am

    I think I’m going to watch Project Runway All Stars. I haven’t seen it since they switched to Lifetime but there was a marathon the other day. So, I’m kind of hooked again.

  2. 2
    notwithoutmytv
    Posted January 5, 2012 at 11:04 am

    I guess it depends on if you still enjoyed the old template on which Bravo built the show. Lifetime went with a if it isn’t broke don’t fix it strategy, so I don’t think you’d even know you weren’t still watching it on Bravo until the commercial breaks. I would have liked to have seen Lifetime shake it up a little–or a whole lot, as long as they kept Tim Gunn, and maybe Kors–but that’s me.

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