Tonight’s Top 10 TV Shows, Tuesday, June 12

Watercooler

By NotWithoutMyTV | Tuesday, June 12, 2012 | 8:30 am | 4 Comments
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Posted in: Tonight's Top 10 Shows, Watercooler

Tuesday, June 12

Last night between 11:30 pm and 12 am, the little date numbers on my watch slowly marched forward. That means I’m one day closer to a karmic death through which I will gain a more highly evolved life next time around. That’s probably not an important day in history to you, but imagine what it means to me!

The War of 1812 (PBS, 8 pm) In June of 1812, the U.S. declares war on Great Britain.

And American audiences complained that it was too soon for a franchise reboot.

Pretty Little Liars (ABC Family, 8 pm) A new message from “A” sets the girls on edge; Emily’s efforts to refocus on school are jeopardized when she recalls information from “that night.”

Emily and the gang have no idea that the real “A” has been retired and living quite comfortably in Patagonia for several years.

Jimmy Kimmel (ABC, 8 pm) Game Night Special.

Jimmy Kimmel and some other famous people talk about sports ball.

2012 NBA Finals (ABC, 9 pm) TBA at Oklahoma City Thunder.

TBA has got a helluva sports ball team this year.

MasterChef (FOX, 9 pm) The top 18 contestants must create a dish using duck and bananas; the judges challenge the cooks to use unusual ingredients.

One of the ex-fry cooks uses crickets—‘cause there was always a cricket or 6 in the fryolator in BEAUMONT, TEXAS.

Real Housewives of Orange County (BRAVO, 9 pm) Alexis reports on-location for the news, causing Vicki to cry; Gretchen discovers Slade’s plan to propose leading to a confrontation, causing Vicki to sob; Eddie surprises Tamra with a surprise romantic getaway, causing Vicki to caterwaul.

Dance Moms (Lifetime, 9 pm) Kelly makes a drastic decision right before her daughters take the stage; Maddie struggles with confidence issues; Holly must create elaborate costumes for a group number, Abby shows her softer side.

Just kidding. She’s still an atomic thundercunt.

Narrow Escapes of World War II (MILITARY CHANNEL, 10 pm) Major-General Robert `Lucky’ Laycock rallied his unit to see off a German attack on Crete.

He wasn’t that lucky. His last name is Laycock.

Pregnant in Heels (BRAVO, 10 pm) Rosie suggests vacations to the Dominican Republic for two struggling couples; one client bosses her husband around, and the other can’t lift her pregnancy spirits.

When Bravo sends you on vacation, it does not have your best interests in mind. Know that.

Anderson Cooper 360 (CNN, 10 pm) The anchorman brings his prickly and often witty perspective to current events and personalities in the news.

When did Anderson Cooper turn into Perez Hilton with balls?

By day, I'm an editor. That means I get a cruel thrill out of identifying the parts of other people's creative projects that suck, and alerting those people to said suckage. Sometimes, I get paid for it. I've been known to lose my appetite after seeing how a Thai menu has folded, spindled, and mutilated the Queen's English. Imagine what TV does to me! I guess that's why I wanted to be a recapper at TVgasm. My friends have heard all of my rants, and they are sick of them. TVgasm is a whole new captive audience! So, let's make a compact, you and I: you agree to read my recaps and take what amusement you can from them, and I agree to put into the print the outrageous observations about the show that you thought, but were too PC to say. Let's share our joyous rage after wasting another perfectly good hour in front of the television.

Oh, and I still believe that Magnum, P.I. was the greatest show on television. Although I have not seen Thomas Magnum fishtail that Ferrari in the opening credits since I was 14. If Magnum, P.I. actually sucked, keep your damn squeal hole shut and don't ruin it for me, OK?

4 Comments

  1. 1
    SuburBint
    Posted June 12, 2012 at 9:09 am

    Three things: 1) NWMTV, my love, you are a recapper. Our karmic reward consists of being born with 6 legs instead of 8. I’m sorry to be the o e to have to break it to you, but you were bound to find out eventually.

    2) “Atomic thundercunt” is my new favorite phrase and what I will be calling my mother-in-law from now on. Solely behind her back, but that’s only because she refuses to speak to me, so I can’t say it to her face.

    3) After reading your Top 10 these best few days, I am struck by how vastly superior you are at this. Are you sure you don’t want it back full time? I do but jest (mostly,) you’d have to pry it from my cold, dead fingers. But you seriously rule.

    San Diego Zoo today! Wish me no sunburn & that we come back with the sane number of children we leave the hotel with.

    Much love & smoochies to all!

    <3,

    SuburBint

  2. 2
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted June 12, 2012 at 9:37 am

    Ooooh! Adore the SD zoo best in the world. Up and down the hills. Flamingoes.

    Sigh. Always brought back the same number of kittens.

    Karmic death sounds so much better than gas.

  3. 3
    fancyface
    Posted June 12, 2012 at 2:06 pm

    So people actually do watch Pregnant In Heels huh? Interesting. The fact that enough people watch it to warrant a 2nd season is interesting…definitely not the show.

  4. 4
    NotWithoutMyTV notwithoutmytv
    Posted June 14, 2012 at 6:44 am

    Thanks for the luv, SuburBint. The secret to being funny is just to hang with people who are the same type of smartass as you are. And, you’re already here, so rock on, baby!)

    I hope you and the babyBints enjoyed the San Diego Zoo. I was there once and it was pretty impressive. The gorillas freaked me out a little, because I could see them thinking. The average teenager, when not engaged in delinquency or disrespecting the establishment, adopts a perfect facade of vacuousness. There is no one home behind that blank, gun chewing face. But those gorillas were thinking about things–I know it.

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