Tonight’s Top 10 TV Shows, Wednesday, Jan. 4

Watercooler

By NotWithoutMyTV | Wednesday, January 4, 2012 | 12:45 am | 1 Comments
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Posted in: Watercooler

Wednesday, Jan. 4

Deep well of undirected anger.

Hardball with Chris Matthews (MSNBC, 5 pm) Political analyst Chris Matthews talks about a wide range of issues and asks hard questions of politicians, pundits and other guests.

Chris, ask Congress the question we all want answered: “WHAT THE @#!%! DO YOU FUCKWAFFLES THINK YOU’RE DOING??”

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (CineMax, 6:10 pm) Allan Quatermain, Capt. Nemo, Dorian Gray, Dr. Jekyll, Tom Sawyer and others unite to stop a mad bomber.

A movie so unbelievably bad, even Sean Connery couldn’t save it.

Nova (PBS, 9 pm) Scientists attempt to determine when volcanic eruptions might occur and how dangerous they may be.

Answers: When? Never at a good time. How dangerous? Pretty damn dangerous, with the molten rock and pyroclastic flow and all…

Sons of Guns (Discovery, 10 pm) A night-stalking automatic rifle with a silencer will be used to take down rampaging wild hogs.

What the crew doesn’t know is that PETA gave the hogs night-vision goggles and body armor.

 

Bessie, I told you. Not until you’re 16!

Not My Momma’s Meals (Cooking Channel, 9:30 pm) The family takes to the road for an excellent artisans adventure through Tuscany; Debi tries to milk a cow.

Tuscany + cow teats = Hilarity.

Through the Wormhole with Morgan Freeman (Science Chennel, 9 pm) Research suggests that thoughts can fly across space making a sixth sense entirely possible.

Morgan Freeman looks like his hair has been flying across space.

The Rosie Show (ABC, 10 pm) Rosie surprises an audience member with a job offer.

Senior bunion filer. Mazel!

Revenge (ABC, 10 pm) An unstable visitor crashes Daniel’s intimate birthday celebration.

But she brought massage oil, so it turned out OK.

The Wendy Williams Show (BET, 12 am) Hot topics; designer Isaac Mizrahi; chef Roblé Ali.

Wendy Williams is a female impersonator, right?

The Colbert Report (Comedy Central, 11:30 pm) Sen. Bernie Sanders.

Please don’t panic. Bernie Sanders is a Socialist.

By day, I'm an editor. That means I get a cruel thrill out of identifying the parts of other people's creative projects that suck, and alerting those people to said suckage. Sometimes, I get paid for it. I've been known to lose my appetite after seeing how a Thai menu has folded, spindled, and mutilated the Queen's English. Imagine what TV does to me! I guess that's why I wanted to be a recapper at TVgasm. My friends have heard all of my rants, and they are sick of them. TVgasm is a whole new captive audience! So, let's make a compact, you and I: you agree to read my recaps and take what amusement you can from them, and I agree to put into the print the outrageous observations about the show that you thought, but were too PC to say. Let's share our joyous rage after wasting another perfectly good hour in front of the television.

Oh, and I still believe that Magnum, P.I. was the greatest show on television. Although I have not seen Thomas Magnum fishtail that Ferrari in the opening credits since I was 14. If Magnum, P.I. actually sucked, keep your damn squeal hole shut and don't ruin it for me, OK?

One Comment

  1. 1
    Laura Gill
    Posted January 4, 2012 at 7:45 pm

    Shame on you for leaving out Toddlers & Tiaras! Where would I be without my Pixy Sticks and Brats fix?

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