Tonight’s Top Ten TV Shows: Thursday, Dec. 8

Watercooler

By NotWithoutMyTV | | 12:01 am | 7 Comments

Screen Shot 2011-12-07 At 10.08.53 Pm

Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town (ABC Family, 8 pm): A mailman explains why Santa has whiskers, lives at the North Pole and brings presents once a year.

From a more innocent time when Santa could say “If you sit on my lap today, a smile and a kiss is the price you’ll pay,” and no one called the cops.

Community (ABC, 8 pm): When the Greendale glee club is unable to make the holiday pageant, the choir director asks the study group to fill in.

Sounds like Glee, only not annoying.

The X Factor (Fox, 8 pm): Contestants face elimination; performances by Mary J. Blige and Lenny Kravitz.

Lenny Kravitz hates American Idol. But he’ll perform on The X Factor.

America’s Funniest Home Videos (ABC, 9 pm): Christmas spectacular.

Santa gets hit in the nuts, a ferret climbs up Santa’s leg, Santa eats bad sushi, Santa flips over the handlebars, Santa does a flaming shot and needs a skin graft.

The Year Without a Santa Claus (ABC Family, 9 pm): Feeling sad and unwanted, Santa takes the day off before Christmas.

Kringle, you pop a Prozac and you get your ass in that sleigh, ‘cause Christmas is an essential public service, and you are not allowed to strike.

Bones (Fox, 9 pm): The team suspects murder when a storm chaser is killed while filming a tornado; Booth becomes increasingly protective of Brennan.

Ever since I saw Twister, I’ve had an irrational hatred of storm chasers.

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The O’Reilly Factor (Fox News Channel, 9 pm): Conservative pundit Bill O’Reilly takes a forceful and often combative stance as he talks with newsmakers and entertainers from his “no-spin zone.”

He’s not an asshole, he’s “forceful and combative”.

A Miser Brothers’ Christmas (ABC Family, 10 pm): The battling Miser brothers, Heat and Snow, must put aside their differences and help save the holiday when an injured Santa is unable to deliver gifts.

It’s in the Miser brothers’ settlement that this travesty can only be shown after 10 pm at night.

The Great Big American Auction (ABC, 10 pm): Ty and the team scour the country for rare and valuable items; people’s lives are changed after their hidden treasures are auctioned for hundreds of thousands of dollars.

If you’re one of the five people in the U.S. that doesn’t think Ty Pennington is a double-decaf douche nozzle, maybe you’ll like this.

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The Mentalist (CBS, 10 pm): The team investigates a retired professional football player’s presumed death after his car explodes; Harrigan and Rigsby move forward in their relationship.

Boom, boom, boom. Let’s go up to my room.

By day, I'm an editor. That means I get a cruel thrill out of identifying the parts of other people's creative projects that suck, and alerting those people to said suckage. Sometimes, I get paid for it. I've been known to lose my appetite after seeing how a Thai menu has folded, spindled, and mutilated the Queen's English. Imagine what TV does to me! I guess that's why I wanted to be a recapper at TVgasm. My friends have heard all of my rants, and they are sick of them. TVgasm is a whole new captive audience! So, let's make a compact, you and I: you agree to read my recaps and take what amusement you can from them, and I agree to put into the print the outrageous observations about the show that you thought, but were too PC to say. Let's share our joyous rage after wasting another perfectly good hour in front of the television.

Oh, and I still believe that Magnum, P.I. was the greatest show on television. Although I have not seen Thomas Magnum fishtail that Ferrari in the opening credits since I was 14. If Magnum, P.I. actually sucked, keep your damn squeal hole shut and don't ruin it for me, OK?

7 Comments

  1. 1
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted December 8, 2011 at 6:56 am

    Grimm is also on tonight…and tomorrow night. Two new episodes, at two different times to really confuse the audience. And NBC wonders why their shows have trouble attracting viewers. Grimm, Thursday at 9:00…and Friday at 8:00. I think.

    And Person of Interest is on CBS at 9:00. Tune in to watch people who NEVER SMILE.

  2. 2
    notwithoutmytv
    Posted December 8, 2011 at 8:00 am

    I heard a media expert professor-type claiming that when a program airs is becoming less important (at least to the networks), because they figure nobody’s watching it live anyway. The figure people will Tivo it or watch it on the Internet on their own schedule. This came from a discussion of shows splitting their seasons up and going dark for four months, and whether it hurts their viewership. It’s hard to know because the viewers who are the most vocal are probably motivated enough FIND the show, whenever it’s on, and the vast majority of people are passive, and who knows what they’re doing?

  3. 3
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted December 8, 2011 at 8:48 am

    Yeah, but I almost never watch NBC, and just happened to be flipping around when the promo for Grimm ran. Since the show hasn’t been on for several weeks (during sweeps…idiots,) I paused. That’s when I discovered there were two new episodes this week. Otherwise I would have missed them.

    And we don’t have a DVR yet. In the world of technology, we appear Amish by most comparisons. At least according to my nephews…

  4. 4
    giffordsaz
    Posted December 8, 2011 at 9:40 am

    AND on Bravo there is a 30 minute NEW – Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. It’s description is “First Look” and is showing during the 7:30 time frame here in AZ.. which is 8:30 time frame for the rest of you all.

  5. 5
    Posted December 8, 2011 at 11:21 am

    Viewing habits have changed a lot in the last few years, but networks still rely on Nielsen ratings to determine a show’s viability. Because networks are still for profit and they need live viewership to watch the ads they sell to make the shows. Until the networks come up with a viable alternative revenue streams, they’ll still be behind the curve on viewing habits.

    So having Grimm on two consecutive nights at two different times might increase viewership for those episodes, and might prove better in that one-off than “Prime Suspect” but with networks going into the holiday hiatus that also causes a confusion as to exactly when the show is on. And confusion is the surest way to kill a show.

    And characters smile on PoI. They just deploy Caviezel’s strategically, to make sure to maximize it’s swoonworthiness.

  6. 6
    giffordsaz
    Posted December 8, 2011 at 11:50 am

    When the hills brought down the massive hoards of viewers remember to plant the corn in the back acreage. Tell Jamison to place the small ones first and change the channels before midnight.

  7. 7
    notwithoutmytv
    Posted December 8, 2011 at 11:51 am

    @Giffordsaz: Yeah, I couldn’t figure that out. The listing was tagged with “New” but I didn’t know what a “First Look” was, and it was listed as a half-hour. It was different, and I’m afraid of any different, so I left it alone.

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