Friday, Dec. 30th
The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe (ABC, 8 pm) Children join forces with the lion mystic Aslan to free the land of Narnia from the White Witch’s wintry spell. Based on the novel by C.S. Lewis.
Pevensie has got to be the most unlikely last name ever.
Need to Know (PBS, 8:30 pm) Conservative evangelical voters’ inability to coalesce around one candidate.
If only Romney would say “My personal lord and savior Jesus Christ” more.
Infested! (9 pm) In Kentucky, a young family move into a new home only to discover that it is overrun by a protected species of bat that cannot be disturbed.
If you hadn’t brought in the cameras, you could have just smacked the damn things with a broom.
Bio (Biography, 9 pm) Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson and Rupert Grint.
Do you really care a fart in a windstorm about Rupert Grint? No. No, you do not.
Say Yes to the Dress (TLC, 9 pm) Latoya fantasizes about a blinged-out ball gown; recently cancer-free, Kristin is ready to marry.
You know what never goes into remission? Crippling self-esteem issues.
Say Yes to the Dress: Big Bliss (TLC, 9:30 pm) Lindsey is looking for a special dress; Katie needs a character dress; Meghan wants a fairytale.
Drink every time one of these twatwaffles says “fairy tale”, “princess”, or “dream”.
Paula’s Best Dishes (Food Network, 9 pm) Guest Kathy Griffin; fruity chicken wings; tomato mac and cheese mini casseroles; chocolate espresso cupcakes.
… and a stick of butter wrapped in a pancake.
Dateline (NBC, 10 pm) Twenty-five years after a man involved in a love triangle is stabbed to death, detectives reopen the case.
… and old wounds. Ha!
Chefography (Cooking Channel, 10 pm) Raised in a remote town in rural eastern Canada, Laura Calder sets out into the world in search of adventure.
A young girl dreams of ingrediences beyond maple syrup…
Confessions: Animal Hoarding (Animal Planet, 10 pm) A ghost hunting hoarder.
Everything was fine with our system until the power grid was shut off by dickless here.
700 Club (ABC Family, 11 pm) A Christmas vision wakes up an addict.
Heroin! Santa got my letter!