TV Patrol: “Hoff the Halls!”

"I'm King of the World & you girls are going down with me!"

The Hasselhoffs, a new reality series, premieres tonight on A&E with back to back episodes at 10 & 10:30pm. Of course, it stars David & his two daughters, Hayley & Taylor & will prove to us all that “The Hoff” is NOT a drunk, but just a crazy, goofy dad! The show will run for 10 episodes & follows them while they tour Austria & also while Hayley works on the TV show HUGE (ABCFamily),which has since been canceled. I’m pretty sure I can see a trend….

Gene Simmon’s Family Jewels begins it’s 6th season with a one-hour premiere at 9pm on A&E. Gene & Shannon visit the home of Anne Frank. It is an emotional trip for him. His mother & uncle were the only members from his family to survive the Holocaust.

Katy Perry is EVERYWHERE!!! Tonight she’s on The Simpsons at 8pm, on FOX. In an edgy & dysfunctional Christmas episode, much like their Halloween shows, she’ll appear in a live-action segment with Simpson family puppets. Oh yeh…. Martha Stewart will also lend her voice to the show…. & that’s a good thing!

The Cleveland Show (FOX 8:30pm) is an hour & titled “Murry Christmas/Beer Walk”. Rallo befriends an old man named Murray (Carl Reiner) who teaches him all about Hanukkah & in return, Rallo helps him escape from the nursing home. Cleveland organizes a beer walk & trains for a boxing match against his bullying dad. I’m not a fan of this show, but it’s got Carl Reiner so maybe there’s a laugh in there somewhere….

OMG! There she is again… Katy Perry! VH1 Divas Salute The Troops airs tonight at 9pm & as you can see, it’s hosted by Kathy Griffin. In the tradition of Bob Hope, this bevy of talented beauties go all around the globe entertaining our men & women for the holidays. You can bet that Kathy will have plenty to say about “Don’t ask… don’t tell.”

Bama Belles is a new series on TLC that premieres tonight at 10pm. This reality-based show is all about Amie, Jana, Melissa, Dakota & Val. They are southern beauties who live in rural Dothan, Alabama & they are going to prove to you that they are not stereotypical Ellie Mays & they do more than just eat  crawdads & frogs & wrassle gators. They love NASCAR!

Brandy & Ray J: A Family Business begins it’s 2nd season premiere a little late tonight, at 11pm, because of the aforementioned “Salute to the Troops” on VH1. I know you all have missed Brandy since she she was ousted on Dancing With the Stars, but we will get to see some of that drama because she was filming her show at the same time. As for Ray J….zzzzzzzz.

CHRISTMAS MOVIE:

On Strike For Christmas (Lifetime Movie Network 8pm) A group of housewives go on strike when they can’t get their families to help them with the holiday preparations. Daphne Zuniga & Julia Duffy star.  (Rated: 5 corn)

TV Guide Channel will air 25 Most Hilarious Holiday TV Moments at 8pm. There will be classic clips  such as scenes from “A Very Brady Christmas” & “Pee-wee’s Playhouse Christmas” to name a few.

And just a reminder…. tonight is the season finales for two new shows this season, Boardwalk Empire at 9pm on HBO & Walking Dead at 10pm on AMC. Dexter, on Showtime at 9pm, has only two episodes left with it’s season finale next Sunday.