Here are the “Top Ten” Nielson ratings for the week ending March 5th:
1. American Idol (Wed) FOX 18.7mil…. Ryan Seacrest as Matt Lauer…seriously?
2. American Idol (Thur) FOX 17.3mil…. Isn’t Jermaine going to jail tonight? That’ll be a ratings boost next week!
3. The Voice NBC 16.8mil…. Is this why Britney Spears wants to be on X-Factor? So she can be better than X-Tina again?
4. Person of Interest CBS 15.7mil…. Thank god Ben got away from “the Others”.
5. Big Bang Theory CBS 15 mil…. Amy Farrah Fowler needs to be canceled.
6. NCIS CBS (repeat) CBS 14.5mil…. Watched by too many youngsters!
7. The Mentalist CBS 13.8mil…. Does this guy ever talk to dead people like Allison DuBois?
8. Big Bang Theory (repeat) CBS 12.4mil…. I think Howard is hot. I’d do him.
9. NCIS: LA (repeat) CBS 12.1mil…. Another show the kids watch too much of.
10. The Mentalist (Fri) CBS 11.3mil…. Moving it to “Death Row” night didn’t hurt it a bit.
But then there’s the “Top Ten” list that advertisers pay the most attention to, the 18-49 group. The list changes quite a bit, as you can see:
1. The Voice NBC 7.9mil… Look who stole the #1 spot! Wait till next week when DWTS returns.
2. American Idol (Wed) FOX 7.3mil…. I pretend that J-Lo and Steven are “before and after”.
3. Big Bang Theory CBS 6.6mil…. How long before Penny dumps Leonard again. Taking bets now… won’t last to the end of the season.
4. American Idol (Thur) FOX 6.3mil…. Is it over yet?
5. Big Bang Theory (repeat) CBS 5mil…. PLEASE make Sheldon smart again.
6. Person of Interest CBS 4.3mil…. John Reese aka Jesus Christ
7. Survivor: One World CBS 4.1mil…. “Survivor: Colton’s World”
8. New Girl FOX 3.8mil…. I just don’t get it.
9a. Amazing Race CBS 3.7mil…. Brenchel will think it’s all because of them!
9b. Once Upon a Time ABC 3.7mil…. OMG! My FAVORITE show made the Top Ten. I like this list better!
10. Family Guy FOX 3.6mil….. Moronic show made for the morons.
The “Top Five” Cable Shows for the week ending March 5th:
1. Walking Dead AMC…. Those zombies are eating everything on cable!
2. Pawn Stars HISTORY…. The Old Man and Big Hoss are trying to pawn off zombie teeth just to get ratings.
3. Pawn Stars HISTORY…. Chumlee had customers who swore they had genuine zombie shoes with the toes still in them.
4. American Pickers HISTORY….. Mike and Frank have started to pick through peoples homes, barns and sheds now looking for zombie artifacts. Old guts, lost fingers and leftover eyeballs are like gold!
5. Swamp People HISTORY…. It’s obvious. Junior and the other teams just want zombie meat for gator bait and will go to any length to get it.
6. Jersey Shore MTV….. Snookie’s baby just might be a zombie!
THIS JUST IN….
You can all rest easy now. CBS announced today that it has renewed 18 shows and The Good Wife is one of them.