TvGasm Investigates: 20 Richest Celebs of 2012

Howard Stern 95 million dollars. All hail The King of all Media! You know, except for that one part where Tyler Perry made 10 million dollars more than Howard did.

James Patterson 95 million dollars. In the article it said that James Patterson wrote 14 books in 2011. Sure, and Kathy Lee sewed all the pants in her clothing line too.

George Lucas 94 million dollars. You know, if we keep giving him money, he’s just going to make another Star Wars movie

Simon Cowell 90 million dollars. Only half of this amount comes from the US. Simon made the rest over England. Normally being able to share the guilt for something is a lot more fun than this.

Glen Beck 80 million dollars. Jesus! Wow, scaring peoples’ mee-maws and grampers pays hella money! Who knew?

Elton John 80 million dollars. Well Elton put out the best music of his career that year.Okay, that year was 1972, but still give the guy a break. Hefty boy cut orange rhinestone suits don’t come cheap now a days.

Tom Cruise 75 million dollars. Do you know what it says about this list that I was kind of relieved to see Tom Cruise’s name on it?

Dick Wolf 70 million dollars. Well seeing as some form of Law and Order is on my TV 24 hours a day, this actually sounds kind of right

Rush Limbaugh 69 million dollars. An obscene amount of money going to a hateful little butterball of a man. Then again, it probably has Keith Olberman grinding his molars down to dust late at night. Worth it!

Manny Pacquiao 67 million dollars. one of the best boxers of my lifetime. Also a recording star in his native Philippines. I mean why not? Are you going to tell him his record sucks?

Doctor Phil 64 million dollars. “Look all I’m saying is you can’t take a candy bar in the woods and not expect to see bears!” Gibberish like that was worth 64 million smackers last year. And that was after Oprah took some off the top for producing the show.

Donald Trump 63 million dollars. The Donald launched a variety of new products in 2011 including a mattress, and a new fragrance called Success by Donald Trump. Fun fact, the mattress is convinced Pringles Potato Chips are actually made in Kenya, and his fragrance declared bankruptcy twice last year.

Ryan Seacrest  59 million dollars. Okay, Seacrest plays records, reads a teleprompter, shoves a microphone in peoples’ faces on American Idol when it looks like they are going to cry, and makes sure at least one Kardashian is on E at least five nights a week, and that’s worth 59 million dollars a year? Sigh, let’s go over this again, I’m rooting against Al-Qaeda because?

Britney Spears 58 million dollars. Let me get this straight. Brit-Brit is sane enough to do 75 concerts a year, have her own fragrance line, put out a new album, and give career advice on TV, but is just a little too crazy to spend the money she earns on her own? What a country.