TVgasm Investigates: Glass House Cast

ABC is finally giving us a chance to get to know the 14 contestants who will be spending the next ten weeks in The Glass House. Their journey begins this Saturday, June 9th and viewers will be able to start voting for all sorts of things, including who they think deserves to stay in the house. After viewing the videos they released, I’m not sure any of them belong in that house, but some aren’t as bad as others. See if you agree with me.

You can check out the vids I watched here. Let’s check out the contestants!

First up is Gene (28 stuntman- Chicago, IL) aka “Hollywood”, because when he’s around he “makes magic!” He tells us he’s 100% real. Thank God he’s not 110% or we’d have another Lou Ferrigno on our hands. He also assures us that we are either going to love him or hate him, there is no in-between. He’s an “in your face” kinda guy. The girls are definitely going to work him over. Oh and the best part of all, he’s a ROCK STAR 24/7, but only on Mondays, Thursdays and Friday afternoons. Damn! I was hoping to see him rock out on Wednesdays. Teddy Bear.

Melissa (31-freelance writer Chicago, IL) aka “Spunky”, because she can’t sit still and bounces around so much. She is like OMG, so super competitive that she is willing to do anything to win. It’s like “no harm, no foul” you know! Well if she wins all of that money, then she’s going to, like buy a place in Panama, so she can bounce her ass down there and sit her ass in front of a computer all day and night and play on-line poker with all of that money she won. She’ll have to change her name to “Slothy”.

Our first handsome contestant is Kevin (33-police sergeant Toledo, OH). He says he’s a fish out of water and this is totally “out of my comfort zone”. I’m positive that he will get tons of votes in the first few weeks. He wants to spend the prize money on his mom for a trip to Australia and bank the rest for his daughter’s education. Come on! He’s “America’s Hero” before the game’s even started. He’s even talking about crying bubble snot. Nothing makes women swoon like a muscle man sobbing like a blubbering idiot. Now who’s going to make him cry?

Erica (27-cocktail waitress Denver, CO) is a gay-loving girl, who’s favorite color is glitter. She’s in the house to make friends and win the money. Erica wants us to know that she’s smart and ballsy and no one is going to see her coming. She’s not going to put up with the “love me or hate me” kind of people. They make no sense to her. Uh-Oh, could this mean that her and Teddy Bear Hollywood Gene might not get along? Can you feel the tension building…..

Irish Mike (48-bar mitzvah DJ Pembroke, MA) is the oldest guy in the house. He’s a loud-mouth and he knows it. He also likes being the center of attention and calls himself an exhibitionist. Will he be the one to run around naked in this “glass house”? He’s says being there is going to cost him more than if he wins the money. Let the ex-wife jokes begin. I can only hope they let him drink!