Tweetgasm: Righting Leech

Watercooler

By Flipit | Tuesday, February 1, 2011 | 10:36 pm | 7 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Featured, Tweetgasm, Watercooler

Had some unfortunate down time while righting (what? That’s how it’s spelled now) my Real Housewives Reunion recap, so I decided to check in on the world’s slimiest Leech, Cedric Martinez, on Twitter. He’s faced some tough allegations tonight, the biggest being that when kicked out of his hagfag’s mansion, he threatened to blackmail her with some shady made up info. Warning: The most positive people are usually the most horrible.

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Say what you will, but you know my twitter address so I WIN! Twitter is the modern day Daddy Warbucks!

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And then you will never hear from my stupid, tiny peened leechy ass again.

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Probably through a mic you stole from Ken.

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Standing in the middle of the 101 sounds better.

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Damn I wish I had read this on the 29th. I would have loved to show up in my Orphan Annie wig and gone up to him to tell him all my made up orphan stories. We totes could have been friends! But there is no money in my bank account. Dream = dead.

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Nope, cuz I had to WORK.

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Bitch must have a guest house.

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Kicking English in the balls. All the 37 year old kids are doin it.

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Wishful thinking is easier than filling out JOB APPLICATIONS.

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LOL. What are they innovating? Fake orange users with giant man boobs and stapled open eyes are a dime a dozen in LA, kid. Dear LA Talent Agents, MAKE A FUCKING EFFORT. Love, Flipit

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Might I suggest a shot of Drano? Does wonders for the skin.

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I suspect that he’s actually talking to a hamster.

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When I get paid for my lies the time will be right.

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Gotta love that he’s talking about a book and can’t spell write. LOLOLOLLLL. And no, those stories won’t right themselves. Good luck to you there, buddy. I hope your life is filled with lots more rich old ladies taking care of you. The moral of this story? Yes. Camille’s an asshole. Peace.

Flipit
About

Currently, Flipit's writing Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recaps, which you can find here. You can also find him doing a gossip segment twice a week called BS of the Day and video recaps of Project Runway All Stars, as well as spoof ReDubs of the coming soon trailers at the end of RHOBH!

Ronnie Karam has been with TVgasm since 2006 , which has given him the opportunity to make fun of hundreds of TV's most loved and hated reality whores. His plan in life was to be Julia Roberts but that plan was stolen by, well, Julia Roberts. He'll get you one day, JULIA ROBERTS!! When not making himself giggle for the gasm, Ronnie performs improv and sketch comedy at IO West in Hollywood a couple of times weekly while using the lovely California days to audition for commercial roles such as "ADORABLE MEXICAN UNCLE". Seriously. He would like to thank Jesus, Buddha and Xenu for the blessings they've bestowed. The writers here are the best around, and he's honored to be associated with them. Find video archives at CankleTV.com, or follow on Twitter @flipit

7 Comments

  1. 1
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted February 1, 2011 at 10:53 pm

    Wait..how does a homeless orphan have a baby photo? Where was it taken? Where did he keep it, stitched in the lining of his threadbare tweeds?

  2. 2
    whoochile
    Posted February 2, 2011 at 6:48 am

    Sarcas!! that’s exactly what I was thinking!!!!

  3. 3
    LAC
    Posted February 2, 2011 at 7:59 am

    The picture was probably sewn onto his blanket by “Mexican donkey show” Mom when he was left on the doorstep of the Oliver Twist Home for the Future Bottom Boys…breaks your heart, really… :~

  4. 4
    skatt
    Posted February 2, 2011 at 8:06 am

    He should live with Camille next season. She could talk about how misunderstood she is and he could tell more bogus Little Orphan Cedric tales. He can replace functional-mute Farchard in Camille’s paid inner circle.

    I loved the part last night when he implied that by letting him live rent free in their home and paying for everything, Lisa and Ken had left him at quite the disadvantage.

  5. 5
    skatt
    Posted February 2, 2011 at 8:51 am

    Woops, nevermind. He has a new “friend”. Go look at Celebitchy.com

    I’ll say this, he works fast.

  6. 6
    mere2142
    Posted February 2, 2011 at 11:04 am

    @skatt Thanks for the laugh! I needed that today and those pictures are great. Who does he think he’s kidding?

  7. 7
    thiajok
    Posted February 2, 2011 at 3:34 pm

    @Skatt: Thanks for Celebitchy recommendation.

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