MTV VMA’s Wrap-Up And Then We’re Moving On…Next Stop: Emmys!

The MTV VMA’s came and went. The viewership was up 23%, but was it because Britney was on and all of her hype? The show all in all SUCKED donkey in my opinion. The only person that totally revived it was Chris Brown. Sure, Alicia Keys did well, Rihanna and her ELLA ELLA ELLA was the only one that actually sang, and of course Justin (btw, he won a Creative Emmy for Dick In A Box) did great, but WTF was that show? It was like an A.D.D. awards show without a Ritalin prescription.

The cut-aways were just people partying and Kanye singing (who didn’t win and threw a temper tantrum at the end of the night). Then, the big surprise performance was Justin?? We’d already seen him at the insert performances. So, what was the big surprise that he took the elevator to the first floor to sing?

I must admit, I thought the set-up with the tables being part of the stage was cool, and the set was cool-ish. HOWEVER, I hardly remember awards being given out. There was no podium, no awards, and most of the cooler acts were performing where we couldn’t see them.

The VMAs were one of the toughest seats in town to get, but the joke was on the people that were there because they realized that there was nothing going on during the awards and everyone was out partying upstairs in the VIP lounges.

Britney and the Tommy Lee/Kid Rock fight got the most hype, and at the end of the day no one has a real answer of what happened to either of them. The only thing I can speculate (besides all of the rumors floating around) is that Brit was heavily medicated, went out after the show, showed the world her crotch AGAIN, and called it a day.

Tommy Lee/Kid Rock, what else is new??? Kid Rock ended up getting misdemeanor battery for hitting Tommy Lee. I think he’s just jealous that Tommy and Pam have a new house together (despite the fact they’re not together) among other things (ah hem…hung like a horse). The truth of the matter is that they’re both dirt rockers that we love and embrace for being that. Boys will be Boys and Brit will be Brit.

Let’s talk about VMA hairstyles and outfits for a second. First of all, Lil’ Mamma??? All she needed was a glow stick and pacifier and she could be mistaken for a bad ecstasy flashback from the warehouse party. At first I thought the outfit was kind of cute, but then I kept starring at it because it reminded me of something, and I was like OH YES! Contempo Casuals called, and they want their Rayon back. Second, what the hell was with Paris and Nelly Furtado’s hair? OMG. Paris does look good with her new hair, but REALLY??? I almost wanted to get her a walker with tennis balls on the end of it. Not to cut down the noise but just to give her something to chase.

And, Whoa Nelly! The one thing she has going for her is great hair, and a gorgeous face, but her hair looked like she baked too long in the Palms Hotel Pool Lazy River. Moving on, Lauren Conrad’s dress??? Thoughts??? Do we care that much??? It was a “one of a kind”, but then again so are my cut-off jeans if they’re frayed the right way.

Moving forward, for those of you who want to know who actually won:

Video of the Year: Rihanna, “Umbrella,” featuring Jay-Z

Male Artist of the Year: Justin Timberlake

Female Artist of the Year: Fergie

Quadruple Threat of the Year: Justin Timberlake

Best Group: Fallout Boy, “This Ain’t a Scene, It’s an Arms Race”

Monster Single of the Year: Rihanna, “Umbrella”

Most Earthshattering Collaboration: Beyonce and Shakira, “Beautiful Liar”

Best Editing: Ken Mowe for Gnarls Barkley’s “Smiley Faces”

Best Director: Samuel Bayer for Justin Timberlake’s “What Goes Around … Comes Around”

Best Choreography: Marty Kudelka for Justin Timberlake’s “Let Me Talk to You/My Love”

Best New Artist: Gym Class Heroes

The night came and went like a cheap hooker. The one thing they had everyone doing was talking about it, so MTV did something right. So long VMA’s: be cool, stay in school. K.I.T. B.F.F. Have a rad summer. Let’s get drunk. Until next Summer.

Onward, now we have the Emmys!