Where Are They Now: Hey Dude

Gasmii, due to the overwhelming positive feedback on my Where Are They Now series (I’ve decided it is going to be a series), I, P-Baby Walker, have decided to hook you up with another installment, this time featuring the classic comedy western Hey Dude.  As soon as I made my selection, I started singing the theme song rather loudly on the couch, to the dismay of Mr. P-Baby.  You all should know that I still remember every. fucking. word.

P.S.  I will continue to do these little features until I run out of shows, my Diet Pepsi flow subsides, or Flipit tells me to knock it off.

Hey Dude had me glued to the set as a young child, mainly because even at 6 (I think I just gave my real age away) I thought Ted was a hot piece of ass and I wanted to grow up to look like Brad.  Fortunately, I didn’t aspire to have Brad’s career.

I guess I shouldn’t judge Brad, since my career consists of scouring the internet for early 90′s has-beens.  Moving on.

David Brisbin-Mr. Benjamin Ernst:  Without Mr. Ernst, there is no Hey Dude.  As the Bar None ranch owner and backbone, David played the role of Mr. Ernst for 63 episodes.  (Side note:  Who knew this show even had that many episodes?!)

Prior to landing the role of Mr. Ernst, David starred in a a few movies and TV shows, most notably an appearance on Law and Order in 1990.   Post Hey Dude, David went on to guest spots on the TV shows Murphy Brown, thirtysomething, Matlock, The Wonder Years, Seinfeld, Ellen, Grace Under Fire, Empty Nest, Home Improvement, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Melrose Place, Party of Five, The X Files, and The West Wing before landing a 19 episode arc on E.R. in 1998.  After E.R.  he continued his TV acting career on Crossing Jordan, Boomtown, Boston Legal, NYPD Blue, Bones, and most recently Brothers and Sisters in 2009.  I gotta say that is quite an impressive resume of TV shows, Mr. Ernst, but who the hell has been running the ranch while you’ve been flitting around Hollywood?  Certainly not Buddy.  That kid couldn’t push a bale of hay across a waxed floor with those noodle arms.   Along with TV, David had quite a few appearances in movies along the way, including Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me, The Positively True Adventures of the Alleged Texas Cheerleader-Murdering Mom (Wonder if he ran into Z.Z. Ziff on set?), Forrest Gump, Leaving Las Vegas, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas and Erin Brockovich, with The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle being his last film appearance in 2000 as the role of Average Dad.  That sounds about right.  David has been married to Emmy-nominated and Screen Actor’s Guild winning actress Laura Innes since 1988.  Mr. Ernst appears to have married up.  Take a peak.

They had one son in 1990 and in 2002 they adopted a Chinese baby.  I like actors like David who are never going to be a headlining name, accept this fact, and are able to consistently provide a substantial income for his family.  And even if the whole acting thing falls apart, he’s still got Laura to bring home the bacon.

Debrah Kalman- Lucy:  I will be the first to admit that I completley forgot there was even a character named Lucy on this show.  Once my memory was jogged, I remembered wondering if Lucy and Mr. Ernst ever boned in  the barn once all the young kids went to sleep.  I always thought Lucy was pretty in a rough, backwoods, hometown bar kind of way.  She looks like she’d scuff her feet while strutting in her skintight Wranglers and shit-kickers.

Anyway, Debrah played the role of dependable and hard working ranch hand Lucy for 62 episodes.  She has absolutely nothing else listed on her IMDB page, though Wiki says she starred in the films Hangman’s Curse and The Visitation.  Wiki also claims she continues to model, act, and work full time as a teacher while living in Palm Harbor, Florida with her daughters.  I can’t find a current picture of Debrah so instead, I’ll just post a picture of the lady that keeps popping up when I Google Image the name Debrah Kalman.

Supposedly, Debrah is still besties with Kelly Brown, who played Brad on Hey Dude.  I bet those two hags sit around in cowboy hats drunk on Franzia babbling about the good old days every single night while exchanging stories about deflowering Buddy in the barn out back.

Christine Taylor-Melody Hanson:  I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that Christine is probably the most familiar face to come out of Hey Dude, mainly due to her marriage to actor Ben Stiller.   Hey Dude was Christine’s first professional acting role.

After that, she went on to spots on Dallas, Life Goes On, Saved By The Bell, and Blossom before landing the role of Marcia in the cult classic comedy The Brady Bunch Movie in 1995. After the movie, Christine hit up the evening comedy circuit with gigs on Caroline in the City, Murphy Brown, Seinfeld, Friends, and Spin City.  Her most recent television appearances include Arrested Development, My Name is Earl, and American Dad.  Christine didn’t stop her movie career with The Brady Bunch Movie. After her hilarious and spot on turn as Marcia, she acted in A Very Brady Sequel, The Wedding Singer, Zoolander, Dodgeball, License to Wed, and Tropic Thunder amongst other lesser known films.  Her next project is a TV movie titled Farewell Mr. Kringle and is slated for 2010. She married Ben Stiller in 2000, and though I really want to say she was in all those Frat Pack movies due to her romantic relationship with Ben, truth is she was pretty funny before hooking up with him.  A part of me still suspects she married him due to his Hollywood connections.

They have two kids born in 2002 and 2005.  I think I read somewhere that she is kind of an entitled shrew in real life but I might be mistaking her with Uma Thurman.  I’d like to think that she is really sweet  because she seems like she would be.  Ehh, whatever.  She’s pretty, blonde, and skinny. Bitch.

Joe Torres-Danny Lightfoot:  Joe played the role of Hopi Indian Danny for 62 episodes.  Danny always pushed my sympathy button because he was just not as cute as Ted and kind of didn’t have a neck.

There is a lot of debate on Joe’s IMDB forum as to whether or not he is dead from some sort of kidney failure or cirrhosis of the liver.  Then others have said he works at a Toyota dealership in New Jersey.  Others believe his father to be Joe Torre, Dodgers Manager.  Either way, Joe unfortunately had no further acting credits to his name after Hey Dude. But it sounds like as long as he is in fact alive, things would be looking up for Joe.

Josh Tygiel-Buddy Ernst:  Josh here isn’t giving me a whole lot to work with.  He has no Wiki page and has nothing else besides Hey Dude listed on his IMDB page.  Josh played the annoying Buddy Ernst for 62 episodes, of which he contributed nothing of substance to any storyline.  When Buddy wasn’t busy banging Lucy in the barn, he kept himself occupied by modeling the finest duds No Fear had to offer.

I even went so far as to Facebook Josh Tygiel and there is a Joshua Tygiel on there holding an adorable child at what looks like the Great Wall of China.  It is quite possible that’s him, but I don’t feel like friending him to find out.  Anyway, Josh kind of looks like a computer geek, so let’s just say that he currently works a 9-5 somewhere behind a desk as an IT nerd.

Kelly Brown-Brad Taylor:  Before I discovered Kelly Kapowski, Kelly Brown served as my brunette hot girl role model as Brad Taylor for 62 episodes.

I always root for the brunette because she is constantly overlooked in favor of the blonde, except in the case of Archie Andrews who is so pussy whipped by Veronica it’s not even funny.

Kelly Brown was a model in both Europe and US before landing on Hey Dude.  She, like Buddy, Danny, and Lucy, did not continue with acting after getting the boot from Bar None ranch.  I’m not even going to attempt the open Google/Facebook search because Kelly Brown is about as rare as finding a Park in Korea.  Anyway, as we read earlier, Kelly can be found getting shit-faced with Debrah in Florida, probably flashing innocent walkers-by in her chaps and Stetson.

David Lascher-Ted McGriff:  David played the role of walking cowboy sex Ted McGriff for 44 episodes.  David apparently was put on this earth to star on P-Baby’s favorite 90′s shows, as his resume boasts spots on Blossom, Full House, Step By Step, Life Goes On, Beverly Hills 90210, Clueless, and Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Yes it is true, P-Baby friends.  I have been watching shitty TV for a very, very long time.

Anyway, I remember when David played Mayim Bialik’s boyfriend Vinnie and I always thought in my little head, “Damn, go on with your bad self Blossom for landing a babe like Vinnie.”  I think we can all agree that Vinnie could probably do better, maybe like a Kelly Kapowski or even a Kelly Taylor type.  Speaking of Blossom, that show was awesome and I think I need to either Netflix or iTunes it stat.  The only notable film on David’s resume is the eye candy laden White Squall.  If ever a teenage girl’s wet dream was to come to fruition on the big screen, this was it.  Scott Wolf, Ryan Phillipe, Jeremy Sisto, David Lascher, James Marsden, and Balthazar Getty all running around a pirate ship shirtless oiled up and filled with angst and alpha-male rage?  Yes, please.

David’s most recent credit is the TV movie Always and Forever in 2009 which costarred Barbara Eden, Rena Sofer, and Dean McDermott.  He doesn’t have any projects in the works, but I’d be willing to be he’s got another shitty TV movie up his sleeve.  In 1995 he got married to some lady named Jessica Watson who I guess is an actress but they got divorced.  He remarried in 1999 to a woman named Jill London and he has two kids with her.  He still looks pretty cute and I definitely wouldn’t kick him out of bed but I’d be slightly disappointed in myself for settling for Sabrina’s sloppy seconds.

Jonathan Galkin-Jake Decker:  Once again, another character that I don’t even remember being on the show.  After seeing the name, am I imagining things that Jake was a source of sexual tension with Brad?  I think I’m getting him confused with California Dreams hunk Jake.

Anyway, Jonathan played the elusive Jake for 34 episodes at the Bar None Ranch.  He may or may not have toyed with Brad’s emotions, but regardless, Jonathan only appeared in one other TV show after Hey Dude called Way Cool.  In terms of where he is now, he currently owns the independent record label DFA Records located in New York.  I don’t know how successful it is because scanning a list of production credits doesn’t offer any familiar names.  Again, we all know P-Baby’s idea of good music is anything involving acid wash and Steve Perry so who am I to say DFA isn’t successful? Jonathan is married and has a son named Noah.  So, good job on all that, I guess.  Who are you again?

Well, Gasmii, time for me to hit the road.  So far we’ve stopped in the middle of the Canadian forest, Camp Anawanna, and now the Bar None Dude Ranch.  What early to mid 90′s tourist attraction shall we hit up next?  Also, be sure to swing by Moviegasm and check out my movie recaps!