Where Are They Now: Salute Your Shorts

Gasmii, you are all in for a happy Fourth of July treat.  Since Mr. P-Baby refuses to see The Twilight Sage: Eclipse and I am staunchly opposed to anything M. Night Shamalamdingdong ever since The Lady In The Water incident, we were left with no new movies to take in this holiday weekend.  Instead, I bring you a little update on the crazy kids from Camp Anawanna.

The reason for covering two Nickelodeon shows back to back is threefold:

1.  Nickelodeon blew everyone out of the water in terms of kid and teen friendly programming back in the day.  I know they are attempting to capture the magic they had brewing back then with some of these new live action shows but I somehow just don’t see people reminiscing about Miranda Cosgrove like I do for Donkeylips.

2.  I just want to pinch Donkeylips on the ass and call him Sugar.

3.  Donkeylips, if you are reading this, call me.

Kirk Baily-Kevin “Ug” Lee:  Kirk played the affable yet imbecilic camp counselor Kevin “Ug” Lee for the duration of the show.  He was born in 1952, though did not start acting until 1988 with Salute Your Shorts being his first notable TV role in 1991.  Yes, boys and girls, if simple math hasn’t failed me now like it has in the past, he was 39 years old during his run as Ug.  Color me impressed by his youthful appearance on the show.  I attribute this to the ever present gob of sunblock slathered across his nose.  I wonder when Ug was boning Mona if that ever bothered her.  Anyway, post SYS, Kirk dabbled in guest spots on Silk Stockings, Models Inc, Sisters, Beverly Hills 90210, The Larry Sanders Show, Pacific Blue, 7th Heaven, Star Trek: Voyager, Felicity, and NYPD Blue. Kirk was also featured in the movies Houseguest, 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain, and Soccer Dog: The Movie.  Kirk has performed extensive voice work for English versions of anime films as well as voicing characters in Open Season and Over the Hedge.  His last voiceover piece was in 2008 for the video game Dead Space: Downfall.  Guys, Ug is like 58.  Does that weird anyone else out?

Megan Berwick-Z.Z. Ziff: Megan played everyone’s favorite nature lover and fan of alliteration Z.Z. Ziff for the show’s entire run.  Full House fans will be glad to find out that she played the role of DJ Tanner foil Kathy Santony in one episode though this topic is heavily debated on her IMDB message board.  After SYS, Megan starred in the 1993 awesomely bad TV movie The Positively True Adventures of the Alleged Texas Cheerleader-Murdering Mom. Unfortunately for Megan, that was the end of the line for her acting career.  I have no idea where Megan can currently be found but in my mind, she is married to AYAOTD’s Gary and they live happily in Canada.  On the weekends, they take camping trips where they spend time around the campfire exchanging stories of Zeke the Plumber and Sardo’s Magic Shop.

Michael Bower-Eddie “Donkeylips” Gelfen:  God, I fucking love Donkeylips.  Just look at that face.  Supple cheeks, kind bedroom eyes.  I’d just know he’d be gentle.  Michael played the ultimate role of Donkeylips for the entire run of the Salute Your Shorts.  He actually had a pretty decent resume prior to SYS, with gigs on Webster, Tales from the Crypt, Empty Nest, The Wonder Years, and Doogie Houser, M.D.  He was even a celebrity guest host on Wild N Crazy Kids (What up Donnie Jeffcoat?  Donkeylips just stole your job.)  Post SYS, Michael has done quite well for himself for a chubby, hairy guys with a speech impediment.  He went on to roles on a multitude of TV shows, including Weird Science, California Dreams, The X Files, Popular, Dark Angel, Becker, Monk, CSI, and most recently, The Riches.  IMDB says that Michael also starred in one episode of the TV show Tattooed Teenage Alien Fighters From Beverly Hills.  I pose the question, was there really more than one episode of this, and if yes, how do I get my hot little hands on the DVD set?  Not satisfied with just TV roles, Michael can also be found in the feature films Captain Nuke and the Bomber Boys, High School High, The Flinstones in Viva Rock Vegas, Dude, Where’s My Car, Evolution, Sex and the Teenage Mind, Dinner with Raphael, No Footing, 2 Dudes and a Dream, Community College, and most recently Perfect Combination in 2010 which thus far has a 2.8/10 rating on IMDB.  IMDB forums also indicate Michael is a super nice guy and loves his fans.  In case you need anymore reasons as to why I love Donkeylips, here are a few excerpts from Michael’s Wiki page:

1.  Recently, he was a rapper

2.  He has publicly stated his passion for saving llamas and horseback riding.

3.  He was a member of the Boy Scouts of America and later achieved the rank of Eagle Scout.

4.  In 2009 he entered rehab for PCP addiction, but was released in 2010 and has remained sober.

Rock on Michael.  Best wishes and keep off the hard stuff.

Danny Cooksey-Bobby Budnick:  Similar to Michael Bower, Danny had quite an acting resume prior to being cast as troublemaker with a heart of gold Bobby Budnick on Salute Your Shorts.  Along with that resume, he had the sweetest haircut out of all the campers.  With roles on the TV shows The Dukes of Hazzard, The Twilight Zone, Pound Puppies, Diff’rent Strokes, Mr. Belvedere, MacGyver, Growing Pains and The Cavanaughs, as well as film roles in Mac and Me, A Smoky Mountain Christmas, Terminator 2: Judgment Day, and one of my favorite movies from the 90′s, Mom and Dad Save the World, Danny was the veteran thespian of the whole Anawanna gang.  After SYS, Danny provided the voice of Montana Max on Tiny Toon Adventures, continuing a path of voice work that he still active in today.

Additionally, he made P-Baby’s head explode when he appeared on an episode of Are You Afraid of the Dark?, as it just couldn’t handle that much awesome all at once.  Danny has provided the voice for characters on Ren and Stimpy, Hey Arnold, The Little Mermaid, 101 Dalmations, Pepper Ann, What’s With Andy?, Recess: All Growed Up, Xiaolin Showdown, and The Secret Saturdays. Currently he can be heard as the voice of Brad Buttowski on Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil because he’s at his best when he’s performing a character with the initials B.B.  He’s also provided the voice on multiple video games.  Danny dabbled in music for a time, performing as the lead singer of the band Bad4Good.  Let’s check them out, shall we?

I can’t get over how there are so many things wrong with this picture.  What the hell is going on?  Where are these kids’ parents?  Why is that guy’s hair so long?  The only time that hair length is acceptable is when you are a mermaid and you find yourself minus one seashell bra.  These fellas released a CD in 1992 called Refugee.  Wiki says since 2004 he’s been in a band called Arbuckle.  Danny is married and has a daughter named Zoe.  Does anyone remember the two episode arc when Budnick loves Dina and Z.Z. loves Budnick, like all of a sudden after being at camp for two summers they just decided it was time to get it on?  It was so completely out of nowhere.  I bet Z.Z. caught one look at Bad4Good’s promo shots and was ready to lose it to Budnick right then and there on the cabin floor.

Tim Eyster-Sponge Harris:  Tim had the plum role of Sponge Harris for the duration of SYS.  Unlike his other nicknamed Anawanna patrons, Sponge appears to be his given name.  Parents really enjoy setting their children up for failure with names like Moon Unit and Kal-El.  Look, Nic Cage, I love Archie Comics almost more than life itself, but no child of mine is going to be named Jughead because I don’t want him to get his ass kicked in school.  Anyway, Tim was quite active on the acting circuit before being cast as Sponge, with roles on Family Ties, Married With Children, Matlock, Dallas, and Life Goes On. He was in a few movies but I’m pretty sure they all sucked.  Post SYS, Tim had a bit part on Babylon 5 before calling it a day in the acting arena.  IMDB says that in 2000 he became a flight attendant for US Airlines, and in 2005 he was living in Orange County, CA.  He does have a composing credit on his IMDB resume in 2010 for the movie The Forgotten Bomb, which has absolutely no cast listing.  Well, I would make fun of Tim, but I got no beef with someone who gracefully moves on from acting, trying to make a living in this day and age.  Some other folks should follow suit.  Plus, he’s got a super infectious smile.  Peace be with you Tim.  Go on with your bad self.

Venus De Milo-Telly Radford:  Venus played the role of athletic, tough girl Telly though both seasons of SYS.  She seemed to have a bit of a chip on her shoulder, though I would too if I was locked up in a cabin with that tree-hugger Z.Z. summer after summer. Even though she was tough, she always did what was right.  Remember when Budnick tried to blackmail her into throwing a tennis match he had bet on?  Telly said “Fuck you, Budnick,” and did her own damn thing.  Venus had a pretty decent post SYS career for awhile, appearing on classic shows such as Family Matters, My So-Called Life, Party of Five, Sister, Sister, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Smart Guy, Undressed, Boston Public, Strong Medicine, The Hughleys, The Bold and the Beautiful, and finally Judging Amy in 2003.  Along with TV roles, she had parts in the movies What Kind of Mother Are You?, Life, and Ghost World.  As for where Venus is now, I don’t know.  Sorry.  I keep trying to Google her but so many things come up about that stupid flasher statue that I’m just pissed off now and don’t feel like continuing.  Note to self:  Add internationally famed pieces of art along with comic book characters and sea-dwelling porifera to list of things not to name children.

Heidi Lucas-Dina Alexander:  Like every Nickelodeon show, there always had to be at least one hot girl to keep the Dads entertained who were watching along with their kids.  Heidi took on this role in the form of Dina Alexander.  Due to her good looks, Heidi was quite the commercial kid, starring in ads for Noxema, Sunny Delight, Clearasil, Coca Cola, Johnson and Johnson, Secret Ultra Dry Deoderant, and Skittles.  I blame products like Sunny D for why kids are so fat.  After SYS, she made pit stops by Boy Meets World, Saved By the Bell: The New Class, Hypernauts, and The Wayans Brothers before hanging up her acting cap in 1996.  The only piece of information I can find post acting career is that she attended the Indiana University School of Law around 2005, which, if true, completely rocks.  I find it far more satisfying to see these guys getting an education rather than having 200 one episode appearances on crappy TV shows.  Also, Dina is still incredibly hot.

Erik MacArthur-Michael Stein: Erik made his appearance in the first 13 episodes of Salute Your Shorts as new kid Michael Stein.  While some probably make the assumption that he was booted from the show, according to his IMDB biography, it was Erik who decided he didn’t want to act anymore, opting to return to high school and graduate with his friends in Hawaii.  He probably got a bunch of high school pussy since he was Michael on Salute Your Shorts.  In fact, this guy may be a genius.  After a few year break, he returned to television on The Byrds of Paradise, Weird Science, and George and Leo before being cast in a supporting role in the movie Pleasantville.  After a few additional roles in $30, Boys Life 3, and We Were Soldiers, Erik decided to try his hand at directing, producing and writing his first short film titled Life Makes Sense If You’re Famous.  He went on to write/direct/produce and act in Bottoms Up and Stories USA in 2007.  In 2009, Erik produced the film Water Pills.  No current projects are listed for him, but I’d be willing to bet he is living in Los Angeles working on stuff.  I never really thought Erik was all that great looking on the show but his current pictures are making it seem as though he grew into his features.  I like Erik because one of my all time favorite episodes is when he and Budnick fake being sick and spend all day in the nurse’s office while the rest of the gang head to the beach.  He and Budnick do a puzzle, dress up in foil and eat a bunch of ice cream.  That’s a perfect day in P-Baby’s book.

Blake Soper-Ronald “Ronnie”  Foster Pinsky:  Blake here was quite a little surprise for me when I looked him up a few months ago.  See, I downloaded Salute Your Shorts off iTunes and upon doing so, started conducting my research for this Where Are They Now piece.  I didn’t write for TVgasm at the time, so my research was really me just having nothing better to do and being curious as to what happened to these kids.  Blake played fast talking Ronald Pinsky for the second season of SYS.  Before SYS, Blake had parts on Family Ties, My Two Dads, His and Hers, and The Wonder Years.  Post SYS, he appeared on Camp Wilder, Melrose Place, and Smart Guy before landing the role of Joseph “Joey The Rat” Epstein on Boy Meets World.  I specifically remember seeing him first appear on Boy Meets World and thinking to myself, “Hey, that’s Pinksy.”  After BMW, Pinsky had spots on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, 3rd Rock From The Sun, and finally Once and Again in 2000, which was the last appearance he made as an actor.  A little SYS collaborative effort occurred on the film Water Pills.  Apparently Erik produced the movie while Blake was the writer and director for it.  Currently, Blake is the lead guitarist for indie band Rilo Kiley.  I’m not sure how indie band they are as even I have heard of them.  I’m currently wearing a Tim McGraw t-shirt and just downloaded Styx Essential Hits on iTunes, so I’m not exactly on the cutting edge of music.  Also, there’s no way they can be indie because I just read a song of theirs is featured on Guitar Hero 3.  Mass marketed video game=loss of indie cred.  Blake is also the lead singer/guitarist for side project band called The Elected.  Rilo Kiley, which formed in 1998, has another famous band member, Jenny Lewis of red-haired smart-talking The Wizard fame.  Blake now goes by the name Blake Sennett, but I don’t know why his name changed.  Currently he can be found doing stuff with Rilo Kiley but I can’t find any tour dates for them.  Oh well, I wasn’t going to see them anyway.  Domo arigato, Blake.

Christine Cavanaugh-Mona Tibbs:  Here’s the deal with Mona.  She annoyed the shit out of me.  I’m happy that Ug got his rocks off one in awhile but he owes me for having to listen to her bullshit.  So I’m not going to waste too much time on Christine.  She used to do a ton of voice work, most famously the talking pig Babe in the Babe movie.  She was also the voice of Chuckie on Rugrats.  If you want to know more about Christina, look it up yourself.

Alright Gasmii…who do we want next?  Tell me or be victim to my Awful Waffle.