While I Was Out…Kim K Announced She’s Having A Baby

65 Comments

1. 1
   Parisi LaRoe
   Posted January 2, 2013 at 9:50 am

   Why must I feel the need to comment on the fact that they are having a kid? Why must I feel like I care even though I know I shouldn’t because they both make me want to drown my sorrows in cigarettes and pain pills?

   That poor child. I thought it was bad when Snooki popped out a baby orange pumpkin but now a Kardashian? I fell so bad for that baby and for Khloe, who is the only one with class, who has been trying to have a baby?

   I cannot stand either of them. They both make me sick.

2. 2
   msjacqmills
   Posted January 2, 2013 at 10:17 am

   Werd, Parisi LaRoe! Ditto.

3. 3
   classy drunk
   Posted January 2, 2013 at 10:23 am

   But it’s so cute that she’s still married and having another man’ s baby…Awesome!

4. 4
   chaosbutterfly
   Posted January 2, 2013 at 10:32 am

   I don’t understand.
   Kanye gave her a kitten, which she promptly killed.

   Sooo…he gives her a baby next?
   I know she’s an empty hole yearning for attention and love, but wouldn’t it have been way less complicated and much safer to just give that bitch a cactus?
   Come on, Ye.

   Can’t even imagine what must be going through Khloe’s mind right now.
   I’m just imagining a black scrawl, a la Peanuts.
   But I’m sure she’ll cheer up once she sees how fat Kim is gonna get.

5. 5
   Hatched One
   Posted January 2, 2013 at 10:42 am

   Demon spawn indeed!

6. 6
   caligal
   Posted January 2, 2013 at 10:54 am

   I think the Mayans missed the end of the world by 6 months. The apocolypse will happen once the Kimye spawn is born.

7. 7
   caligal
   Posted January 2, 2013 at 10:56 am

   Oh, and since she is still legally married to Kris, if she doesn’t hurry the divorce, he will be recognized as the legal father as long as they are still married at birthing time. I see an episode of Maury “You are not the father” Povich in their future.

8. 8
   See-Jay
   Posted January 2, 2013 at 10:56 am

   Is it too early to call CPS?

9. 9
   Detinha
   Posted January 2, 2013 at 10:57 am

   Are we sure the world didn’t end December 21st? This feels like hell!!

   My captcha: “leave me alone” (had to use it!)

10. 10
    labowner
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 11:08 am

    I bet her hoo-ha is just as large and spread out as Mrs. Duggars.

11. 11
    Dutchiedevil
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 11:41 am

    While TMZ says they will NOT feature the baby on the show after it is born, the pregnancy will be captured (yeah us, NOT). Perez however quotes whichever company is airing this nonsencicle virtual reality show that they indeed WILL feature it.

    Should they live in the Netherlands, that baby will be the legal child of Kris as it will be born within 9 month of the final divorce…

    Also, I just had to use my captcha: raspberry tart

12. 12
    Parisi LaRoe
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 11:44 am

    OMG! I just thought about it. Who wants to bet that the next “Keeping Up With The Useless Kardashians” will include a season-long riff between Kim and Khloe/Lamar that tear the family apart that will eventually lead to a tearful reconciliation at a Hills-Type restaurant scene?

    I called it right here on the ‘Gasm first!

    Once again, WHY MUST I CARE? I think it is because of the fact I care about that kid. That poor, poor child.

13. 13
    classy drunk
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 11:47 am

    Poor Khloe, she goes out, gets a husband, stays married to him (gasp), moves to Dallas with him, cuts out her show for her marriage and she is the one having issues getting pregnancy.

    Is this the world we live in….

14. 14
    kczar
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 12:09 pm

    I read something that said Kris Jenner has already sent out e-mails to all the magazines so they can bid on getting the first baby bump picture. If you don’t think Mama K isn’t gonna prostitute this next generation of fame whore, you’d be dead wrong. When will they leave our tv’s and collective minds??

15. 15
    plockness monster
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 12:32 pm

    Eh. I was excited b/c I thought the Gasm would skip over this piece of news.

    Now I am sad b/c I called this news.

16. 16
    classy drunk
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 12:47 pm

    I think it had to be covered. Kayne said at the concert shout out to my baby mama. Really Ye? Really?!?!!? Smh…

17. 17
    Gypsy
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 1:10 pm

    Did this NEED to be announced and 12:15 on NYE? Talk about Attention WHORES!

    I deleted all Kanye’s music I have. Hova better watch it, he keeps hanging out with these losers and his stock is gonna drop.

    I think these two are worse than 10,000 Lindsay Lohans.

    I hate that you covered this Nads. A baby is not a publicity stunt.

18. 18
    Nads
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 1:49 pm

    Sorry Gypsy– you’re right…I though the story was too ridic not to. But you’re right–they don’t need anymore attention than they already have.

19. 19
    Parisi LaRoe
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 1:51 pm

    I am surprised that Kanye has only one baby mama to begin with.

20. 20
    Parisi LaRoe
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 1:54 pm

    @Gypsy-I am of the mind to delete my Kanye until I realized that the only song I have of Kanye is GOLDDIGGER!!!! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

21. 21
    michkabibbles
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 2:12 pm

    “since she is still legally married to Kris, if she doesn’t hurry the divorce, he will be recognized as the legal father as long as they are still married at birthing time”

    is this really true? if she’s publicly acknowledged that the child isn’t humphries’, will this really happen (i’m honestly curious because i’ve seen it speculated elsewhere, and it just doesn’t seem logical–but i am neither married, divorced or childreny).

22. 22
    carol
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 2:15 pm

    The only reason (at least that they are leaking to the ‘press’) that Kim won’t sign the annulment papers is Kris wants her to admit it was a sham & publicity stunt. That is why she wants a divorce, so it will look more like it was a real marriage. *now hanging my head in shame for knowing that*

    I really wish that for one whole week, all media (tv, radio, print, internet, etc) would go Kardashian free. I really don’t think anyone would notice except them. The whole family are vile but the worse is Kris (mom). She is truly a pimp in every sense of the word. Kim is just sad and pathetic. And really, shouldn’t E! be renamed K!.

23. 23
    caligal
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 2:26 pm

    @mitch…in Cali, the husband is legally recognized as the father until a paternity test is brought to the court to prove differently. It may vary from state to state.

24. 24
    labowner
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 2:37 pm

    Paternity tests mean nothing to courts as men have proved they are not the baby daddy and the courts say oh well you have been acting like the dad so a dad you get to stay.

    We all know who the baby daddy is. I feel sorry for the kid who has a such a large gapping whore for a mom and family.

25. 25
    lindaw205
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 3:39 pm

    I think this IS just another publicity stunt for Kim. The wedding certainly was, why not a baby? She needs some positive publicity after the wedding show anyway. After all, between the two of them they’ve screwed thousands, why just now getting pregnant if not planned?

    And I hate that I’m reading and talking about a Kartrashian.

26. 26
    Elmstreet
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 3:45 pm

    I ain’t saying Kim K’s a gold/fame digger …

    but i can’t say who she doesn’t mess with because I don’t have that specified privilege. Someone wanna help me out here?

27. 27
    aliens.rock
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 4:28 pm

    Even though I don’t like Kard-ass-ians, I do wish for Kim to have a healthy baby, and I don’t feel sorry for anybody. She is a media whore, but it doesn’t mean she will be a bad mother. This kid is set for life. I kinda wished I was their child myself . My heart also goes out to Khloe. I don’t know how much of her fertility struggle according to media is true, but I know from my own experience how heart breaking is to see all those women getting pregnant, while you invest your time, money, and every thought, and you fail every time…Congratulations, Kim.

28. 28
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 5:13 pm

    but i can’t say who she doesn’t mess with because I don’t have that specified privilege. Someone wanna help me out here?

    She ain’t messing with no African-American males of meager means.
    She also does not mess with white dudes.

29. 29
    crazy rooster
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 5:15 pm

    Are we sure the baby is Kim’s?

30. 30
    juddfan
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 5:32 pm

    Am I the only one . . . ? I totally thought, Ye, was Gay . . . not that this dis-proves it. Maybe they are keeping it away from camera’s so we can’t see the eventual child, and try to determine if it is in fact Ye’s . . .

    @Nads, love you always hon, you go on and keep covering the things that bring us out in united hate, me likey!

    xoxoxo

31. 31
    Gypsy
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 5:33 pm

    @Nads, thanks gurl. I know you’re just doing your thang but these fuckers piss me off so hard. It was all scripted, planned and executed for maximum famewhoreishness. I don’t wish for the baby to be unhealthy though I do think, given the circumstances, it’s implied the child will somehow be more damaged than Brittany Spears under a perpetutious Conservatorship.

    Kris Jenner is the devil himself.

    @Parisi…I feel ya but I say blow it up anyway.

    BESIDES….You guys this is taking away from @jerseyj’s engagement!!!!!!

32. 32
    kthxbai
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 5:39 pm

    @aliens.rock If they wanted to they could set it for life in a respectable home with a regular private couple that’d love it just for itself. And where nobody would ever tell it “yo I just watched your mom’s sex tape. Damn she had her a big ass.”

33. 33
    labowner
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 5:43 pm

    Aliens I understand what you are saying and I agree except this is the Kardashians and there has yet to be one ounce of drama/happiness whatever they don’t try to make money from. This is not a child to them, this is another pay check to add to the family fortune.

34. 34
    plockness monster
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 5:44 pm

    Fo realz?!? Congrats jersey!!!

35. 35
    carol
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 6:17 pm

    In California (if the child is born here, but I could totally see Kim trying to give birth in the same hospital and room as Beyonce), the mother has to list either her legal husband or no-one on the birth certificate. In order to get Kanye’s name on the birth certificate, Kris (husband Kris not mom Kris) has to fill out a bunch of forms and in some cases they have to have a DNA test done.

    In CA, Kim can also name the baby what ever she wants including last name. In some other states, there are only two options for the child’s last name – her maiden name or her legal husband’s last name. I really don’t think Kanye would let his child have the last name Kardashian.

36. 36
    Gypsy
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 6:33 pm

    @carol, what that man had yet to realize is, he doesn’t have any GD say.

    Kris Jenner will have that baby’s last name Kardashian is it’s the last thing she does on this earth.

    This will end in dramatics for sure.

    The best the guy can hope for is:

    ‘Purple Orchid West-Kardashian’

37. 37
    Parisi LaRoe
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 7:17 pm

    That kid is going to be surrounded by such a major amount of ass. An ass for a father, a huge ass of a mother and HER huge ass, and her ass of a family. Except for Khloe, since she is the only non-ass of the family.

38. 38
    Chicken Lips
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 7:52 pm

    I hope that her real husband doesn’t sign any divorce or annulment papers, gets listed on the birth certificate as the husband/father, then goes to court for full custody with no maternal visitation rights in the best interests of the child. I’m actually wondering if they can call the state because I worry about the fetus.

    Along the same train line here, what is up with all these celebrities getting pregnant with their flava of the month? It isn’t that hard to not get pregnant you know…but maybe they don’t know that? Do we need to start giving out condoms and birth control on set?

    (Off topic – my capcha is “little bobby tables” – WTF is that?)

39. 39
    (J)ustPeachy
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 8:40 pm

    I have nothing to say, just that my captcha is “save yourself.”
    Too late captcha, too late.

40. 40
    Robin
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 9:21 pm

    Wouldn’t it serve her right if Kris pleaded to the court that he is a good man and cannot in good conscience divorce his wife while she is pregnant!? How can a court disagree with that? They have to recognise that marriage license as legal even though Kum did it just for a paycheck!

    I really hope this comes around to bite her in the big fat ass and she is unable to get divorced.

    Robin

41. 41
    lissagettinghammered
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 10:14 pm

    I wonder if “Gold Digger” was a prediction of Kanye’s future, rather than an ode to superficial bitches everywhere…the world may never know.

42. 42
    kthxbai
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 10:23 pm

    They’re billionaires now. And so is Ryan Secrest. If Kris Hump takes it to court they’ll just buy whatever county it is. And put the whole thing into a 3 part special on E! If even the sponsors start to get disgusted they’ll sell the ads to pharmaceutical and weapon companies. That they probably own some of anyway.

43. 43
    chooch850
    Posted January 3, 2013 at 3:05 am

    Why is it that I find the fact that these two are having a baby, just creepy. I just think it’s wrong. If it were Khloe and Lamar, I’d be overjoyed, but these two…. it just seems so… so … fake. They don’t even look or act like they’re in love, except with themselves. It just makes my skin crawl… and I’m a fan of the Kardashians…. until now.

44. 44
    hot cawfee
    Posted January 3, 2013 at 7:07 am

    @ 16 Classy—–Ya’ know the fact that Kanye just came out and said it—no” spread” (heehee—see what I did there???) in People for $$$$ is making me a little happy—he obvi doesnt get how the K-trashies roll

    @ 20 Parisi– If you aint punk holler WE WANT PRENUP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    @ 21 Mich— Kim would have to admit her marriage to Kris was a sham (heeheeheehee) and there is no way fame-whoragus Kim would do that.

    Kris Jenner taking it to the next disgusting level– Pay Per View birth special — or some kind of in-utero camera so all “fans and well-wishers” can see the baby. shudder……….

    my capcode is…………know your rights
    Oh little unborn baby—-maybe Auntie Khloe will step in now

45. 45
    classy drunk
    Posted January 3, 2013 at 7:59 am

    @hot cawfee, I don’t think that will hold up. Kanye will succumb to the Kartrashian trance and the baby will have a spread in People.

    I think he wants to do things like Bey and Jay but that’s not the way Kimmy Cakes makes her money. Her job is to be a fame whore, so if you cut that out she can’t make money. That was the underlying problem with her and Kris. Kris thought she would cut that ish out once they were married, but it never stopped.

46. 46
    labowner
    Posted January 3, 2013 at 9:10 am

    I hope Kris H not only goes for full custody, but child support as well. That would kill Kris K like no one has been able to.

47. 47
    chooch850
    Posted January 3, 2013 at 10:28 am

    46 comments! Why would anyone ever stop posting about the Kardashians when they create so many hits with one article. And we wonder why they make so much money for doing nothing?

48. 48
    Parisi LaRoe
    Posted January 3, 2013 at 11:50 am

    @chooch-Usually Newsgasm/Watercooler never gets a ton. Hate giving props to the Kardassians but at least it gives us the chance to start the New Year right with snark again.

    @hot cawfee-WE WANT PRENUP YEAH!!!!

49. 49
    thisbuggs4u
    Posted January 3, 2013 at 12:11 pm

    ok, I posted this yesterday…I don’t know what is happening to my comments!! BUT– How is the hell do you kill a kitten? –yes I know how you can kill a kitten, but come on– we started with fish, and they all died…we have 3 cats and they are all still alive…got all of them when they were 18 weeks..saved them from what could have been..what did she do sit on it? Leave it in her purse in the car?

    If these two can’t keep a kitten alive…I feel for this kid

    I hope her current husband takes her to the bank for this! These two suck! She will do anything for money. She even put her face on a NASCAR car in Vegas a few years ago. I have the before race and after race pictures….So we now call her Kim KarKrashian cause her face was in the wall after 10 laps…

    I really feel bad for Khloe. Poor thing has been trying to get pregnant since she got married and now she is going to have another niece or nephew born into douchebaggery…

50. 50
    PopePhilly
    Posted January 3, 2013 at 2:14 pm

    @thisbuggs4u: I hate you a little bit (jokingly) for forcing me to defend a Kardashian who isn’t Khloe, but I had to weigh in on the kitten thing. Vets suspected that the kitten ended up having feline infectious peritonitis (FIP). If a cat comes down with that, there really is nothing anyone can do but make the cat as comfortable as possible and wait – the cat isn’t going to survive. Aso, it was reported that Kim had discovered that she was allergic to cats (as some people do when they have a cat for the first time) and found her a good home with Khloe’s assistant (who had just lost her own cat after something like 17 years). Therefore, the cat wasn’t even in her possession when it died.

    After defending Kim there, I need to go home and take a shower. I feel dirty.

    Oh! Also, I did some researching because I am a legal nerd and I was curious. In the state of CA, Kanye can voluntarily claim paternity since Kim is still legally married. Kris can fight it, but I can’t imagine he will.

51. 51
    thisbuggs4u
    Posted January 3, 2013 at 3:42 pm

    @pope– thanks for the information!! we always take our animals to the vet after we got them. our last kitten had a stomach virus when hubby brought him home. all 3 we’re on meds…

    glad they found it a new home though. yeah most people don’t know they have allergies to animals until they get them.

    I do feel bad for khloe. can’t stand these people though…

    captcha: kangaroo court…seems fitting

52. 52
    PopePhilly
    Posted January 3, 2013 at 4:58 pm

    @thisbugs4u: I remember having to put my cat on meds last year because my parents’ kitten had worms and they found out just after Lindsey (my kitty) and I hate visited. The vet didn’t want to risk it because there was a SLIGHT chance the two cats had shared a litter box. I hope all your kitty tummy issues are resolved!

    I hope my post didn’t come off as me ranting at you – that wasn’t my intention. I understand (and agree with) a lot of Kardashian backlash, but the kitten thing just didn’t seem like a reason to hate someone. Every time a friend of mine would make a comment about it, I’d just say, “Yeah, someone found out she couldn’t take care of a kitten and, instead of taking it to a shelter or abandoning it, found said kitten a good home. What a monster.”

    I do feel bad for Khloe too. As much as I dislike this family, I kind of want to hang out with her. I’ll freely admit that I always watched “Khloe & Lamar.”

    I wish I got a fun captcha. When I’m signed into he site, I don’t get them.

53. 53
    thisbuggs4u
    Posted January 3, 2013 at 5:32 pm

    @pope- one cat, Chloe, we rescued from the shelter in town. She was trying to hang out in my coach purse when I was playing with her sister. Chloe likes my hubby more then me. Stella our orange kitty. well she has issues! She was abandoned at a Wal-Mart with her brothers. they had upper respiratory problems and couldn’t be adopted right away.They spent some time at the county jail for some kitty rehab. She is crazy, hates everyone and can’t stand being touched! Even with me sometimes. George our 1 yr old came home because hubby couldn’t resist his cuteness…sent hubby to petsmart for clippers. He brought home George. Stella has the most issues. Kitty herpes and anxiety. but we keep up on their shots and all that. they are all strictly indoors. I would cut a birch if they got out. yes they are chipped, but they don’t answer to their name when you call.

    I just thought it was weird that “Kim killed a cat, and she is pregnant” is in the same sentence!! No I did not think you were ” yelling” at me.

    is it weird that when I type Kim on my kindle, it wants to add Kardashian?? Sorry for the typos. Still getting used to my kindle Was a nice birthday present…

54. 54
    PopePhilly
    Posted January 3, 2013 at 6:14 pm

    @thisbugg: My dad brought home a kitten one day after this conversation with a coworker:
    DadPhilly: Hey, [co-worker], I have a lot of extra zucchini from my garden. Do you want some?
    Co-worker: Sure, if you take a kitten that we found in our barn.
    DadPhilly: Done!

    I’m worried that your Kindle is automatically adding “Kardashian.” You might want to get some disinfectant…by the tub.

55. 55
    thisbuggs4u
    Posted January 3, 2013 at 6:34 pm

    @pope– Mr Z brought home George, then left for deployment. He gets home last July and wonders why George doesn’t like him!! Ha! When I rescued Stella from Petsmart He was also on deployment. Now every time we go to the pet store, I have to say no. Back away from the cats!

    Yeah I have some disinfectant wipes…I don’t want to break my Kindle!

56. 56
    sagittariuskim
    Posted January 3, 2013 at 6:50 pm

    I found out I was allergic to cats last summer. I’ve had cats my whole life. And our inside cat we had for 7 years had just died, when I found about my allergies. The doctor suggested not to get anymore cats. I told her okay. And then I went home for the summer, and me and my mom got a new kitten. Her name is Winnie she is now 8 months. She is a short tailed calico. Her tail is like little more than half the size of a regular cat’s tail. Her and her brother were recused from the side of a highway. We haven’t had a baby in a while so she’s been exhausting.

57. 57
    Robin
    Posted January 3, 2013 at 8:59 pm

    Hi thisbuggs,

    I love my Kindle, too. I got it a year ago for Christmas. Keep those kitty paws away from the screen, it can do alot of damage. We also have a free kindle book link at the forum. Authors often make their books available for free for a short period in hopes that reader enjoys the book and will make a purchase in the future. I have your email addy and will send you a few links to get you started, if you’d like me to. Free books are fun. Although I must admit, the marketing tool works because I have purchased the entire Alifair Tucker series because I got hooked on “The Old Buzzard Had it Coming”

    Also, about the adding of the Kartrashian name.. Facebook is awful about adding to sirnames or popular names. We call my little nephew “Hulk”. I cannot use his nickname without having to delete “Hogan” at least 4 times. PITA. Try not to go through facebook..

    Glad that you were able to spend the Holiday with the hubby. Take care

    Robin

58. 58
    Robin
    Posted January 4, 2013 at 12:24 am

    This is kinda sad. It is as if there is nothing else to do to get attention.

    Porn video with a rider- check
    Screw a few football players-check
    Film a sham marriage with the whitest black person you could find because it would sell/market better to middle America if he wasn’t real black – check

    Now it is time to have an illegitimate kid with a famous, talented, rich and apparently stupid man.

    Robin

59. 59
    sarcasatire
    Posted January 4, 2013 at 1:51 am

    That ass is gonna need its own zip code.

60. 60
    Mimo
    Posted January 4, 2013 at 9:53 am

    Does Kayne always look like he’s just swallowed a sour kumquat?

61. 61
    Parisi LaRoe
    Posted January 4, 2013 at 1:16 pm

    Or he looks like he swallowed Kim’s butt.

62. 62
    Elmstreet
    Posted January 4, 2013 at 1:44 pm

    @Robin – Not that it actually matters, but I actually thought Kris Humphries was a Golem, and was wondering why the hell he and Kim weren’t having a sham Jewish wedding. Guess you just answered that question for me! Thanks!

63. 63
    hot cawfee
    Posted January 4, 2013 at 1:48 pm

    @ 60 Mimo— sorry but did you say “twat”??? Or “K-twat”?????

64. 64
    jerseyj
    Posted January 6, 2013 at 7:57 pm

    Thanks @gypsy and @plockeness…in honor of this thread I’ll make sure my marriage lasts longer than 72 days :p

    Also, my captcha is “lumpy gravy”….funny, thats what I imagine Kim. K’s ass will look look after this pregnancy

65. 65
    jerseyj
    Posted January 6, 2013 at 7:59 pm

    Look like that is